My last post and all the comments discussed authenticity. Most of us seemed to agree that in some situations social decorum might be better than outright honesty. To me, there are some circumstances that require absolute honesty. For example;
Occasionally I delude myself into thinking my Mr. Right is still out there looking for me. In those moments of weakness, Match.com usually gets another 3 months worth of my hard earned pay. After numerous winks, e-mails and even a few quick encounters at Starbucks, no one has managed to hold my attention long enough to continue the exploration. The chemistry was non-existent.
My profile is honest and my pictures are recent and that’s what I expect from others. I’m baffled by those who post false information. A while ago I received an e-mail from Mr. X who said he read my profile and thought we would be a great match. He invited me to read his profile and respond if I was interested.
His profile stated he was divorced, 5’10”, athletic and toned, seemed to indicate he was stable and sane and his pictures didn’t bark at me from the page. A couple of e-mails later we agreed to meet at a Starbucks near my office. I own stock in Starbucks, so everyone has to meet me there to contribute to my retirement.
I walked into Starbucks in my 3 inch heels, which make me 5’10” tall, and looked around for someone matching his description/picture. I ordered my drink, and sat down when a man walked up to my table and asked if I was me. He didn’t look anything like Mr. X, so I thought this was a friend of his that was either scouting me out, or telling me he couldn’t make it.
It was Mr. X.
I stood up and towered over him by at least 4 inches. In his pictures he had hair, but in reality he had almost none and his belly was doing flops over his belt.
I said, “You don’t look like your picture.”
He said, “Oh, that was taken about 10 years ago. I didn’t have a recent one and my wife threw away everything else.”
I said, “I thought you were divorced.”
He said, “We’re in the process, but she wants everything so my lawyer and I are holding out. You know how it is.”
BRIGHT RED Flag
I said, “No, I don’t. I’ve never been married. Your profile also said you were 5’10” tall and athletic and toned.”
He said, “Yeah, I know. If you don’t say those kind of things most women won’t e-mail you back. I’ve been on Match.com long enough to know that.”
BRIGHT RED WAIVING FLAG
I picked up my drink and purse and said, “Thanks for meeting me here. I have to go.”
He said, “Is that it? You’re leaving just because I’m not tall and handsome enough?”
I said, “No. I’m leaving because you lied. You lied about your height, body type, and marital status. It makes me wonder what else you lied about or might lie about in the future.”
And I left.
Everyone has flaws and problems. How we handle them says a lot about our character. Lying in a social situation by pretending you’re having a good time when you aren’t is, to me, forgivable. Lies like Mr. X told aren’t.
What do you think, and what would you have done?