Friday, September 7, 2007


“A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization”

I had an epiphany today. It truly was a sudden intuitive realization that I’ve been using the term “F*ck you!” totally wrong.

Now I’m not big on swearing. For me the occasional damn, shit or hell is about as far as I’ll go in public. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with swearing, it’s just that – as a friend so succinctly pointed out – using swear words seems a bit lazy when there are so many other wonderful words one can use to express their feelings and emotions. That doesn’t stop me from using them, but it does make me pause a bit.

Until now, “f*ck you” has always meant something derogatory and mean – a term you use when you’re really pissed off and want something awful to happen to the person to whom it’s directed. But when you read romance or erotic novels – or just the tabloids – you hear (meaning read) people saying things like, “I want to f*ck you,” or “f8ck me baby” or, well you get the picture, right? Now they’re not using the term in a derogatory manner. They’re using it to mean “let’s have sex” or “let’s copulate” or, well you get the picture, right?

Now to me, sex is a very pleasurable activity. So when you say “f*ck you” to someone, aren’t you telling them to go do something that’s going to make them feel good? Hmmmmm! If I really want to insult someone I don’t want to make them happy in the process.

I’ll never be able to say “f*ck you” to someone again when I’m upset. I have to come up with a new term. I’m thinking “piss on you” (icky and totally gross) might be a better phrase. Do you have a better one?

And, the next time someone says, “F*ck you!” to me, I’m going to smile and say, “Thanks!”


Jaye Wells said...

I can't wait to see what kind of google searches will bring new readers to this blog after this post.

The Anti-Wife said...

Oops! Didn't even think of that.

mcewen said...

Ooo - just read the comments and it's put me off my stroke. I didn't think of that either. Actually, a trick someone taught me [experienced blogging type] is that if you put a dot in the naughty word then that scrambles the searchers.
Have a great weekend.

Ello said...

Hee hee! What with your blog title and now this racy post, I think you are going to get some interesting traffic in here! My post on excrement generated my highest traffic day with over a 100 unique visitors.

Bernita said...

Ummm, I think they mean the expression more in terms of rape.

The Anti-Wife said...

Jaye, Maddy, Ello,
No extra traffic. Guess the word is so common now no one googles it anymore.

Hmmmmm! Think I'll still react with a smile and "Thanks!" No matter how they mean it, that should confuse them.

Travis Erwin said...

Two guys at work recently got into it and one shouted. I'll fling a boot full of warm piss on you.

Now I cracked up since that seemd so off the wall and full of rich detail. Not a cup but a boot. WHo has a bott full of piss? And not jsut any piss but warm piss.

Of course the guy who siad it is crazy but just the same it was still entertaining for us observors.

The Anti-Wife said...

Now that is descriptive - especially the warm part. What can you possibly come back with after that?

Church Lady said...

I was on google and happened over here....


Merry Jelinek said...

Now, see, I always thought it was a shortened form of 'go fuck yourself' which is slightly insulting as it implies the person can't find anyone else willing to participate...

One of my favorites is actually a Chicago area insult, "Jag off", though I think it's become sort of mainstream at this point... generally, it's like calling someone an ass or a jerk, but it means what it sounds like really.

eh, hmm... I just noticed that my swear words seem to have an obsession with self-gratification.

kathie said...

Hey, Anti-wife, I will co-opt your response of "Thank You" if you don't mind. Though, I can't say I get the old Fuck you very often...but here's hoping, right? Thanks for making me laugh.

kathie said...

OMG, I just read travis's comment and I did, indeed, laugh out loud at that. I'd have loved to have seen that one weilded in real time.

The Anti-Wife said...

Church Lady,
And what exactly were you googling? Were you being bad?

Self gratification is not necessarily bad as long as one isn't obsessive about it.

Feel free to co-opt at will! Travis's response was very funny!