My mood is much better now. The funk and fog are going away and I’m once again centered right here in my own little piece of paradise. Several things happened all at once to send me on my downward spiral. What they were is not important. How I reacted is.
In the past when I was thrown off balance by those massive waves from the ocean of life I would struggle to maintain my self control and refuse to give in and admit sometimes life just sucks. But the truth is, SOMETIMES LIFE JUST SUCKS! Every single day of our lives cannot be perfect – unless you’re delusional or on really good drugs. The more I struggled against the waves, the more they would drag me under.
I finally realized that by letting go and not fighting to maintain that image of “okayness”, the process of coming back to the top was shortened dramatically. If I allow myself to just feel the sadness, unhappiness, anger, frustration or whatever the emotion du jour is, I recover much quicker.
So I spent the last few days being morose and feeling sorry for myself and today I feel better. I’m not so overwhelmed. I didn’t struggle. I experienced life. Life isn’t perfect and there are still some things I’m not happy about, but I’m moving on. I can handle whatever emerges.
The best thing about this episode is how aware I was of my emotions and how often I realized this awareness can be applied to my writing. So not only do I feel better, but I learned something in the process that can improve me.
Sometimes life doesn’t suck!