It’s leap day and since I’m waiting for my instructor to rip my latest submission apart I’m amusing myself looking through my junk mail box. Thought you might want to enjoy some of the latest and greatest offers sent my way.
Me (How did I send myself junk mail?) Re: MedHelp6018295504826. An offer for Cialis and Viagra.
Hey folks, first get me a man and then we’ll talk!
Adrienne Steele wants to sell me cheap Swiss made Rolex, Omega, Panerai, Chanel and asks, “Will you like it?”
Fat chance Adrienne. I can buy cheap stuff here and get exercise walking around the stores.
Derek Barron and Maxwell Glass are both offering HugeDiscountWatches (with no spaces).
Sorry boys. See reply to Adrienne above.
Brand Martin and Lilian Rocha are asking, “Do you want enlarge your penis?”
I’m a woman!
Samela at Box Software has another piece of useless software guaranteed to totally screw up my computer.
Dianne Buckner is sending me a pharmacy receipt for medicine I didn’t order.
Maryanne J. Hankins is offering my 88% off Swiss-made watches.
Perhaps I should forward her e-mail to Adrienne and they can compare their offers.
Authentic Cialis and Viagra are sending me a Client Notice:Limited Offer.
As I said above, man first!
Muskan.bhan @ webspace says, “The best of the anti-ed meds are here!”
And that’s where they’re going to stay, hon!
Command @ bankoestada tells me I won’t find high-quality meds at unbelievable low prices at my local chemist!
Maybe not, but at least Walgreens doesn’t sell cheap and potentially dangerous drugs over the internet.
Shoots @ avalonbay invites me to, “Enjoy your vacation. Girls will love you. We’ll take care of it.”
Okay, let me repeat; I’m a woman looking for a man.
Pfizer Web Solutions is sending me a personal notice.
Still not opening it.
Roosp @ hwy 65 says, “Girls love you becuase (his spelling) you order blue-pills and get pleasure!”
I am woman. Hear me roar!
Cialia/Viagra are offering me a private re-order.
Thorsteo @ aanada is offering me lab-tested SOMA to kill my pain.
I need it after reading all this other stuff.
And my favorite of this batch:
Wilburn Chan says, “I wanted the pure pleasure of having a 10 inch monster in my pants”.
Wilburn, you need to get out of the house more!
Happy Leap Day everyone! Have a great weekend.