Writerkat said:
I think 1976 was the year I went to DW for the first time. It was in the middle of a snowstorm on the east coast.
Here's my questions:
1.) What is the knarliest chore you've let go while you write?
2.) What do you suggest to look for in considering an on-line class for writing?
3.) In one sentence, what did you learn about yourself when taking this course?
1. I feel a list coming on! Ironing, dusting, vacuuming, mowing the lawn. I haven’t really given them up so much as postponed them. I did the first 3 last week because of company over the weekend and finally called my gardening service to come and do their semi-annual cleaning next Saturday.
The most needed chore right now is just some additional de-cluttering and reorganizing. Occasionally I have to stop and put everything back in order. It helps my concentration and makes me more productive.
2. If you haven’t taken a fundamentals class – do it. It may be a repeat of many things you know, but it’s a great refresher and helps you refocus. If you’ve taken a fundamentals class, decide where you’re weakest and take that class. If you’re not really weak in any area but just need some additional coaching, take a more focused class on writing in your genre.
Look carefully at your instructor’s resume. The one mistake I made was in taking a class with someone who was teaching several classes at the same time – not just for the group from whom I took the class, but for a couple of other groups too. I really don’t think she had the time to give us the kind of feedback we wanted or needed. When questions were asked, she was sometimes rude (and I don’t mean in a constructive way) and it took her a long time to respond or she didn’t respond at all.
That said, the class was still worth it because of all the additional reading assignments.
3. My idea is good and will work, but it’s not going to happen overnight so I need to be patient and not rush through it.
More questions? Anyone?
Showing posts with label classes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label classes. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Answers to Precie’s Questions
Precie said:
Ok, remember...you invited us to ask questions...
1) How did your final assignment go?
2) Is your Christmas tree still up? It's too cool.
3) How many times have you been to Disney World (or Disneyland)?
4) Now that the class is done, do you feel you've found a new focus or direction in your fiction writing?
1. I was happy with my final assignment. It was a new first chapter to the book using a different character’s POV. The classmates who critiqued it were very positive. The instructor’s comments made me wonder if she actually read it, but she did have some positive feedback and some useful suggestions of a very general nature.
While I learned a lot during the class, it was mostly from the reading assignments. The instructor provided very little input either in the lecture hall or through the critique process. I would probably take another class through them, but not with this instructor.
2. Regretfully, my tree came down in January and is now resting comfortably in its box beneath the stairs. It’s always a treat when Thanksgiving arrives and the boxes come out of storage. It allows me to relive 40 years of growth in one weekend as the ornaments go up on the tree.
3. DisneyWorld – first time in 1976. 4 or 5 more times since then.
DisneyLand – first time in 1963. At least 10 times since.
4. Interesting question. In a way, yes. It helped clarify the direction I was already heading and proved I have the ability to do it. Finding the time to focus on writing is a challenge. I work full time, am active in my cult, have a house and yard to manage, keep volunteering to help my friends with projects and am just a busy person. However, with the new direction for the manuscript I’m inspired and the ideas are flowing freely for the first time in a while.
Any more questions? Anyone?
Ok, remember...you invited us to ask questions...
1) How did your final assignment go?
2) Is your Christmas tree still up? It's too cool.
3) How many times have you been to Disney World (or Disneyland)?
4) Now that the class is done, do you feel you've found a new focus or direction in your fiction writing?
1. I was happy with my final assignment. It was a new first chapter to the book using a different character’s POV. The classmates who critiqued it were very positive. The instructor’s comments made me wonder if she actually read it, but she did have some positive feedback and some useful suggestions of a very general nature.
While I learned a lot during the class, it was mostly from the reading assignments. The instructor provided very little input either in the lecture hall or through the critique process. I would probably take another class through them, but not with this instructor.
2. Regretfully, my tree came down in January and is now resting comfortably in its box beneath the stairs. It’s always a treat when Thanksgiving arrives and the boxes come out of storage. It allows me to relive 40 years of growth in one weekend as the ornaments go up on the tree.
3. DisneyWorld – first time in 1976. 4 or 5 more times since then.
DisneyLand – first time in 1963. At least 10 times since.
4. Interesting question. In a way, yes. It helped clarify the direction I was already heading and proved I have the ability to do it. Finding the time to focus on writing is a challenge. I work full time, am active in my cult, have a house and yard to manage, keep volunteering to help my friends with projects and am just a busy person. However, with the new direction for the manuscript I’m inspired and the ideas are flowing freely for the first time in a while.
Any more questions? Anyone?
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Lesson 6 – Revisions
Our final lesson concerns the revision process which puzzles me because I’m still trying to figure out the fundamentals like setting, character building, characterization, POV, dialogue and plot. Other than that, I think I’ll graduate with honors.
Apparently there are way too many things one needs to consider when entering Revisionville and being ruthless is a necessity. Our reading assignment provides some guidelines for the revision process.
1. Structure
Goal: Develop a clear and compelling plot
What to look for:
1. Scenes that are too passive and dialogue scenes with no tension
2. Scenes that don’t build or are anti-climactic
Basically you’re checking that the plot events are in the correct order and each scene builds towards a satisfying climactic payoff.
2. Texture
Goal: Sharpen descriptive passages to make characters, setting and action more vivid.
What to look for:
1. Too much or too little description
2. Clichéd word choices
3. Too many adjectives or adverbs
4. Research information dumps
5. Background or setting information in wrong place
3. Dialogue
Goal: Elicit character personality through conversation
What to look for:
1. Too many or too few tag lines
2. Tag lines in the wrong place
3. Taglines that contain too much information
4. Information dumps
5. Bland or melodramatic lines
Remove any unnecessary tags. Read it out loud to see if the dialogue sounds natural. Have someone else read it to see if they can distinguish each character’s voice.
4. Editing
Goal: Tighten the pace and continuity
What to look for:
1. Repetition through implication
2. Slow passages
Cut, cut, cut!
5. Blending
Goal: Find and destroy any weaknesses
What to look for:
1. Soft spots
2. Unclear character motivations
3. Actions that seem contrived
Find the problem area and add new scenes or expand old ones to fix anything you’ve missed.
6. Go back to step one and start over again until you’re satisfied.
The final part of our reading assignment is a review of basic grammar and punctuation – 48 pages worth of review. Because this is an important part of writing, I shall summarize these in future posts starting soon with Phrases and Clauses.
Be afraid. Be very afraid!
Apparently there are way too many things one needs to consider when entering Revisionville and being ruthless is a necessity. Our reading assignment provides some guidelines for the revision process.
1. Structure
Goal: Develop a clear and compelling plot
What to look for:
1. Scenes that are too passive and dialogue scenes with no tension
2. Scenes that don’t build or are anti-climactic
Basically you’re checking that the plot events are in the correct order and each scene builds towards a satisfying climactic payoff.
2. Texture
Goal: Sharpen descriptive passages to make characters, setting and action more vivid.
What to look for:
1. Too much or too little description
2. Clichéd word choices
3. Too many adjectives or adverbs
4. Research information dumps
5. Background or setting information in wrong place
3. Dialogue
Goal: Elicit character personality through conversation
What to look for:
1. Too many or too few tag lines
2. Tag lines in the wrong place
3. Taglines that contain too much information
4. Information dumps
5. Bland or melodramatic lines
Remove any unnecessary tags. Read it out loud to see if the dialogue sounds natural. Have someone else read it to see if they can distinguish each character’s voice.
4. Editing
Goal: Tighten the pace and continuity
What to look for:
1. Repetition through implication
2. Slow passages
Cut, cut, cut!
5. Blending
Goal: Find and destroy any weaknesses
What to look for:
1. Soft spots
2. Unclear character motivations
3. Actions that seem contrived
Find the problem area and add new scenes or expand old ones to fix anything you’ve missed.
6. Go back to step one and start over again until you’re satisfied.
The final part of our reading assignment is a review of basic grammar and punctuation – 48 pages worth of review. Because this is an important part of writing, I shall summarize these in future posts starting soon with Phrases and Clauses.
Be afraid. Be very afraid!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Lesson 5 - instructor's evaluation
This assignment is about creating scenes, stringing them together, making sure each one builds on the one before and leads up to the one after.
This scene starts out with Anne arriving at the meeting hall where you create a detailed setting we can easily slip into. The light is on in the attic. As soon as possible, right away, you want to announce her goal in the scene so that we can jump on board with Anne, want what she wants, start cheering her on.
Since you’ve already opened this scene with Anne, you need to stay with her viewpoint instead of moving to Helen. You want to create one scene for one character, develop one conflict, play that conflict out to its crisis point, before introducing a new scene (different time, different setting) with another character, if it’s necessary to change viewpoints. You use asterisks to indicate a change of scene, but what constitutes a new scene is a new conflict, new setting, different time.
Helen and Jean rush into the building and encounter Anne right away. I’ve already evaluated this scene, and I’m not sure I have anything new to say. We don’t really penetrate Helen’s head much, and so there will be little emotional investment for the reader, I’m afraid. Whether you choose Anne or Helen for this entire scene, we need to know what’s at stake and what the character’s goal is in the scene.It doesn’t work to switch to Anne in the middle of the action like this. Again, this is the same scene, so it’s jarring to be inside of Helen, then suddenly inside of Anne. Can you see that at all?
Anne thrusts the door open and no one’s there. The two women are relieved, and you use asterisks to indicate another change of scene, but in reality, again, this isn’t another scene. Get rid of the asterisks. They’re not enough to cause a scene change. As I mentioned, you need to introduce a new conflict, new setting, new time in order for there to be a scene change. So far, this is all one scene, and so far, I still don’t know what’s at stake for your characters. As they start preparing for the meeting, I can’t figure out whose viewpoint we’re in.
We move to Ann. The man falls through the ceiling, but you’re in omniscient viewpoint here. We’re watching this from a distance, not inside of a character, so again, you won’t have emotional investment from the reader. The action is playing out in a vacuum, I’m afraid. Anne learns from Helen who the man is, and the scene closes as she tries to comfort her friend.
I repeated myself in this evaluation so many times about what constitutes a scene, I know I don’t need to say it again. I just want to make sure you understand why what you have here is all one scene. Let me know if you have any questions.
I bet you’re having fun writing this story. You’re good at using your sense of humor in developing your characters and their dialogue.
This scene starts out with Anne arriving at the meeting hall where you create a detailed setting we can easily slip into. The light is on in the attic. As soon as possible, right away, you want to announce her goal in the scene so that we can jump on board with Anne, want what she wants, start cheering her on.
Since you’ve already opened this scene with Anne, you need to stay with her viewpoint instead of moving to Helen. You want to create one scene for one character, develop one conflict, play that conflict out to its crisis point, before introducing a new scene (different time, different setting) with another character, if it’s necessary to change viewpoints. You use asterisks to indicate a change of scene, but what constitutes a new scene is a new conflict, new setting, different time.
Helen and Jean rush into the building and encounter Anne right away. I’ve already evaluated this scene, and I’m not sure I have anything new to say. We don’t really penetrate Helen’s head much, and so there will be little emotional investment for the reader, I’m afraid. Whether you choose Anne or Helen for this entire scene, we need to know what’s at stake and what the character’s goal is in the scene.It doesn’t work to switch to Anne in the middle of the action like this. Again, this is the same scene, so it’s jarring to be inside of Helen, then suddenly inside of Anne. Can you see that at all?
Anne thrusts the door open and no one’s there. The two women are relieved, and you use asterisks to indicate another change of scene, but in reality, again, this isn’t another scene. Get rid of the asterisks. They’re not enough to cause a scene change. As I mentioned, you need to introduce a new conflict, new setting, new time in order for there to be a scene change. So far, this is all one scene, and so far, I still don’t know what’s at stake for your characters. As they start preparing for the meeting, I can’t figure out whose viewpoint we’re in.
We move to Ann. The man falls through the ceiling, but you’re in omniscient viewpoint here. We’re watching this from a distance, not inside of a character, so again, you won’t have emotional investment from the reader. The action is playing out in a vacuum, I’m afraid. Anne learns from Helen who the man is, and the scene closes as she tries to comfort her friend.
I repeated myself in this evaluation so many times about what constitutes a scene, I know I don’t need to say it again. I just want to make sure you understand why what you have here is all one scene. Let me know if you have any questions.
I bet you’re having fun writing this story. You’re good at using your sense of humor in developing your characters and their dialogue.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Lesson 5 - My assignment
Assignment for Session Five: Write a series of connected scenes (no more than 2,000 words total). These may be scenes from a short story or the opening of a novel, but they should stand together as a unit, even though they are part of a larger story. Try to include a variety from the types of scenes we've studied-narrative, dialogue, action.
The day started out perfectly and went straight downhill from there. One more meeting to go. At least this meeting was a social event and she would be surrounded by friends. Damn, she thought, first one here again. I need to stop being punctual. Aw, crap! Who left the light on in the attic?
Wide stone steps rounded by thousands of feet over the last 150 years led into the beautiful old brick building. The fading sunset glowed against the windows casting mischievous shadows inside. The attic was dark again so she decided it probably wasn’t a light – just the sun reflecting off the window.
Anne shivered as she unlocked the heavy oak door. Even after 40 years attending events here, the darkened interior still gave her the creeps. She knew every inch of the upper two stories and basement but being alone made her uneasy. As she flipped on the lights, the musty old place warmed to her presence.
The center was one of the largest buildings in town. Once used exclusively for Masonic groups, due to rising costs it was now rented out to others for meetings and functions. It hadn’t lost its sense of purpose and the rich dark woods and thick brocade curtains created a sense of formality
She turned on the lights in the main floor dining hall and was pleased to see the tables already set with festive decorations for the post-meeting meal. Red plastic clothes held white dishes. Large pink, red and white Styrofoam hearts danced on a sea of curly ribbon in the middle of each table. Crepe paper ribbons and balloons adorned the walls and a sign saying “Happy VD” was taped over the podium. Ann dropped her packages on the table and put her head in her hands. She made a mental note to have the sign changed before some of the older members arrived.
Overhead a floorboard creaked. “I thought I was the only one here,” she said to the portrait of George Washington. She went to the bottom of the stairs and called, “Who’s there? Is someone up there?” There was no response but Ann was relieved to see Helen and Jean both pull into the parking lot.
******
Jean rushed to gather her packages and lock her car. “Come on, Helen. We’re late again. Anne’s going to be pissed.” She ran towards the steps flustered at their tardiness. “Helen, hurry!”
“I’m too old to hurry and we’re not that late,” said Helen. “You take things too seriously. Relax a little Besides, who cares if Anne’s pissed? When did she become the boss of us?”
“God, Helen. You’re only 62. That’s not old. Quit trying to make yourself ancient before your time,” said Jean. “Anne became the boss of us when we elected her Worthy Matron of the Chapter, remember?”
“Well, thank heavens it’s only for one year. She’s a slave driver.” Helen could sense that Jean was not in any mood for teasing, so she locked her car, ran up to Jean, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her across the parking lot, up the steps and into the building, shouting, “Hurry, hurry! Anne’s gonna kill us for being late!”
They stopped giggling when they opened the door and saw Anne standing in the hallway, arms folded across her chest, peering over her reading glasses looking stern. “All right,” she said. “Which one of you is responsible for the sign?”
Helen blushed and Jean looked innocently up at the ceiling. “Well whoever did it needs to change it before the rest of the group arrives.”
“You don’t like it?” Helen said.
Anne cracked a smile and Helen and Jean relaxed. “I love it, but something tells me a few of our members won’t appreciate your sense of humor.”
The floorboard creaked overhead again and they looked at the ceiling.
“Is someone here with you?” said Jean.
“No. I heard the same noise just before you came in, but no one answered when I called. Maybe we should go upstairs and check it out.”
“Not on your life,” said Jean. “The men’ll be here soon. They can go up there.”
“Don’t be such a sissy,” said Helen. “Let’s go see what’s going on. It’s probably just the old building making noises anyway.”
“Well, you two can go, but I’m staying here,” said Jean.
Helen and Anne started towards the wide old stairs covered with the worn burgundy runners. As Anne started up, Helen sat down on the third step and said, “Maybe we should wait.”
“Wait for what? There’s nothing up there. It’s an old building and the creaking is normal. Are you afraid?”
“Yes and you should be too.” Helen’s courage was quickly evaporating. “How can you be so calm and complacent? What if there’s an ax murderer up there?”
“What if there’s nothing up there and we wait like babies until the men come and rescue us? They’ll never let us live it down. Come on!”
“OK, but you first. I’ll be right behind you.”
*****
The hall upstairs was dark except for the streetlight shining through the oak tree into the windows. Lemon wood polish mixed with stale wool carpet to create an old, but familiar scent. Anne knew Helen wasn’t right behind her, but knowing she was just downstairs gave her enough courage to keep going.
Hand trembling, she reached for the door. As she turned the knob another creak sounded. She froze – panic stricken.
“Anne, are you okay?” Helen yelled from downstairs.
“Fine. Everything’s fine, Helen,” Anne yelled, hoping to announce to any intruders that she wasn’t alone.
She took a deep breath, turned the handle and opened the door with such force it hit the wall on the other side with a loud bang. Quickly flipping on the lights, Anne was relieved to see – no one. Nothing was there but the empty meeting room, bathed in the glow of the new ceiling lights. She sank into the chair by the door and waited for her heart to stop pounding.
“There’s no one here, Helen. You can stop hiding now,” she shouted. “Where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be right behind me.”
Helen ran up the stairs laughing. “One of us had to stay behind to call the police.”
“Right, to report the other one was dead! Some friend you are! Well now one of us is going to have to set up the chapter room all by herself.”
“Not on your life. I’m not going back into that dark old storage locker by myself.”
Anne laughed, “Come on chicken, we’ve got work to do.”
Helen flapped her arms and exaggerated her steps as she followed Anne back to the lockers. “Bwaaaaaaaak, bak, bak, bak, bak, bak bak, bak!”
****
Helen started arranging the chairs and pedestals on the labyrinth rug. No matter how many times they told the caretaker how to arrange things, he always did it wrong. “I think he does this on purpose just to irritate us,” she said.
“He probably does, but at least we don’t have to lug those heavy old chairs or that huge rug out of the hallway.” Anne walked quickly through the room turning on every light, converting the darkness to the friendly warmth she associated with the place. The hall to the storage lockers was unlocked which seemed odd, but this wasn’t the first time. Anne opened the locker door and began gathering the paraphernalia to set up the chapter room. She filled the first box, took it out to Helen and returned for more.
Several items weren’t in their proper places and irritated she searched shelves and back of the locker. The sword was partially hidden behind the file cabinet but came out easily and Anne finished gathering everything and closed the door.
Other members arrived to help and Anne directed them to various tasks in the chapter room and the dining hall downstairs. The hour before the meeting was always a beehive of activity and she enjoyed watching everyone scurry around as the old building was transformed into a warm and inviting place.
*****
Anne stood at the podium and thought how lucky she was to be there. The meeting went well and everyone was thoroughly entertained by the story of the creaking building and Helen’s imitation of a chicken. It was almost time for refreshments and the smell of Pearl’s freshly baked brownies wafted through the air tempting everyone. Anne was pleased her day was ending on a positive note.
The Conductress closed the Bible and Anne said, “I now declare Peony Chapter #333 closed.” With that she rapped the gavel on the dais and a man crashed through the ceiling, bounced off the altar and landed on the floor in front of it like a beanbag.
Everyone sat in stunned silence for a few seconds before Mary Moran started screaming and ran from the room. Several cell phones appeared until Don Waters announced he was calling 911. John McKee, an EMT, quickly ran to the man and pronounced him dead causing two women to faint. The members moved away from the body, but couldn’t take their eyes off him and speculation about his identity ran rampant through the room.
Marion Sutton – who was partially blind and somewhat deaf – kept yelling, “What’s going on? What’s going on? Somebody tell me what happened!”
Her daughter, Dena, quietly explained the situation and Marion looked very puzzled. “What’s wrong Mom?”
“Was he a member?”
“Mom…”
“Was he a member?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t recognize him.”
“Then what’s he doing in our Chapter room. Only members are supposed to be in the Chapter room? What’s he doing here?”
“Mom, the Bible is closed.”
“Well, I suppose it’s okay then.”
By this time Anne regained her composure enough to clear the room and ask everyone to wait downstairs in the dining hall until the police arrived. She knew the police would want to talk to everyone.
As he left, Worthy Patron Harry said, “I sure hope they can find Mary Moran. She’ll be half way to Tacoma by now.”
Anne noticed Helen was standing at the altar looking at the body with tears in her eyes. “Helen, what’s wrong? Do you know him?”
“It’s Jim Ferguson, that retired software guy who moved here about 8 months ago. What a waste.”
“What do you mean by that, Helen? Was he a friend of yours.”
“Not really a friend - just an acquaintance. He lived down the street from me. We used to see each other in passing quite a bit and I was hoping …..well, he was one of the few decent single men around my age left in this town. Do you know how hard it is to find decent single men around my age in this town?”
Anne put her arm around Helen’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Oh, I see. That sucks!”
The day started out perfectly and went straight downhill from there. One more meeting to go. At least this meeting was a social event and she would be surrounded by friends. Damn, she thought, first one here again. I need to stop being punctual. Aw, crap! Who left the light on in the attic?
Wide stone steps rounded by thousands of feet over the last 150 years led into the beautiful old brick building. The fading sunset glowed against the windows casting mischievous shadows inside. The attic was dark again so she decided it probably wasn’t a light – just the sun reflecting off the window.
Anne shivered as she unlocked the heavy oak door. Even after 40 years attending events here, the darkened interior still gave her the creeps. She knew every inch of the upper two stories and basement but being alone made her uneasy. As she flipped on the lights, the musty old place warmed to her presence.
The center was one of the largest buildings in town. Once used exclusively for Masonic groups, due to rising costs it was now rented out to others for meetings and functions. It hadn’t lost its sense of purpose and the rich dark woods and thick brocade curtains created a sense of formality
She turned on the lights in the main floor dining hall and was pleased to see the tables already set with festive decorations for the post-meeting meal. Red plastic clothes held white dishes. Large pink, red and white Styrofoam hearts danced on a sea of curly ribbon in the middle of each table. Crepe paper ribbons and balloons adorned the walls and a sign saying “Happy VD” was taped over the podium. Ann dropped her packages on the table and put her head in her hands. She made a mental note to have the sign changed before some of the older members arrived.
Overhead a floorboard creaked. “I thought I was the only one here,” she said to the portrait of George Washington. She went to the bottom of the stairs and called, “Who’s there? Is someone up there?” There was no response but Ann was relieved to see Helen and Jean both pull into the parking lot.
******
Jean rushed to gather her packages and lock her car. “Come on, Helen. We’re late again. Anne’s going to be pissed.” She ran towards the steps flustered at their tardiness. “Helen, hurry!”
“I’m too old to hurry and we’re not that late,” said Helen. “You take things too seriously. Relax a little Besides, who cares if Anne’s pissed? When did she become the boss of us?”
“God, Helen. You’re only 62. That’s not old. Quit trying to make yourself ancient before your time,” said Jean. “Anne became the boss of us when we elected her Worthy Matron of the Chapter, remember?”
“Well, thank heavens it’s only for one year. She’s a slave driver.” Helen could sense that Jean was not in any mood for teasing, so she locked her car, ran up to Jean, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her across the parking lot, up the steps and into the building, shouting, “Hurry, hurry! Anne’s gonna kill us for being late!”
They stopped giggling when they opened the door and saw Anne standing in the hallway, arms folded across her chest, peering over her reading glasses looking stern. “All right,” she said. “Which one of you is responsible for the sign?”
Helen blushed and Jean looked innocently up at the ceiling. “Well whoever did it needs to change it before the rest of the group arrives.”
“You don’t like it?” Helen said.
Anne cracked a smile and Helen and Jean relaxed. “I love it, but something tells me a few of our members won’t appreciate your sense of humor.”
The floorboard creaked overhead again and they looked at the ceiling.
“Is someone here with you?” said Jean.
“No. I heard the same noise just before you came in, but no one answered when I called. Maybe we should go upstairs and check it out.”
“Not on your life,” said Jean. “The men’ll be here soon. They can go up there.”
“Don’t be such a sissy,” said Helen. “Let’s go see what’s going on. It’s probably just the old building making noises anyway.”
“Well, you two can go, but I’m staying here,” said Jean.
Helen and Anne started towards the wide old stairs covered with the worn burgundy runners. As Anne started up, Helen sat down on the third step and said, “Maybe we should wait.”
“Wait for what? There’s nothing up there. It’s an old building and the creaking is normal. Are you afraid?”
“Yes and you should be too.” Helen’s courage was quickly evaporating. “How can you be so calm and complacent? What if there’s an ax murderer up there?”
“What if there’s nothing up there and we wait like babies until the men come and rescue us? They’ll never let us live it down. Come on!”
“OK, but you first. I’ll be right behind you.”
*****
The hall upstairs was dark except for the streetlight shining through the oak tree into the windows. Lemon wood polish mixed with stale wool carpet to create an old, but familiar scent. Anne knew Helen wasn’t right behind her, but knowing she was just downstairs gave her enough courage to keep going.
Hand trembling, she reached for the door. As she turned the knob another creak sounded. She froze – panic stricken.
“Anne, are you okay?” Helen yelled from downstairs.
“Fine. Everything’s fine, Helen,” Anne yelled, hoping to announce to any intruders that she wasn’t alone.
She took a deep breath, turned the handle and opened the door with such force it hit the wall on the other side with a loud bang. Quickly flipping on the lights, Anne was relieved to see – no one. Nothing was there but the empty meeting room, bathed in the glow of the new ceiling lights. She sank into the chair by the door and waited for her heart to stop pounding.
“There’s no one here, Helen. You can stop hiding now,” she shouted. “Where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be right behind me.”
Helen ran up the stairs laughing. “One of us had to stay behind to call the police.”
“Right, to report the other one was dead! Some friend you are! Well now one of us is going to have to set up the chapter room all by herself.”
“Not on your life. I’m not going back into that dark old storage locker by myself.”
Anne laughed, “Come on chicken, we’ve got work to do.”
Helen flapped her arms and exaggerated her steps as she followed Anne back to the lockers. “Bwaaaaaaaak, bak, bak, bak, bak, bak bak, bak!”
****
Helen started arranging the chairs and pedestals on the labyrinth rug. No matter how many times they told the caretaker how to arrange things, he always did it wrong. “I think he does this on purpose just to irritate us,” she said.
“He probably does, but at least we don’t have to lug those heavy old chairs or that huge rug out of the hallway.” Anne walked quickly through the room turning on every light, converting the darkness to the friendly warmth she associated with the place. The hall to the storage lockers was unlocked which seemed odd, but this wasn’t the first time. Anne opened the locker door and began gathering the paraphernalia to set up the chapter room. She filled the first box, took it out to Helen and returned for more.
Several items weren’t in their proper places and irritated she searched shelves and back of the locker. The sword was partially hidden behind the file cabinet but came out easily and Anne finished gathering everything and closed the door.
Other members arrived to help and Anne directed them to various tasks in the chapter room and the dining hall downstairs. The hour before the meeting was always a beehive of activity and she enjoyed watching everyone scurry around as the old building was transformed into a warm and inviting place.
*****
Anne stood at the podium and thought how lucky she was to be there. The meeting went well and everyone was thoroughly entertained by the story of the creaking building and Helen’s imitation of a chicken. It was almost time for refreshments and the smell of Pearl’s freshly baked brownies wafted through the air tempting everyone. Anne was pleased her day was ending on a positive note.
The Conductress closed the Bible and Anne said, “I now declare Peony Chapter #333 closed.” With that she rapped the gavel on the dais and a man crashed through the ceiling, bounced off the altar and landed on the floor in front of it like a beanbag.
Everyone sat in stunned silence for a few seconds before Mary Moran started screaming and ran from the room. Several cell phones appeared until Don Waters announced he was calling 911. John McKee, an EMT, quickly ran to the man and pronounced him dead causing two women to faint. The members moved away from the body, but couldn’t take their eyes off him and speculation about his identity ran rampant through the room.
Marion Sutton – who was partially blind and somewhat deaf – kept yelling, “What’s going on? What’s going on? Somebody tell me what happened!”
Her daughter, Dena, quietly explained the situation and Marion looked very puzzled. “What’s wrong Mom?”
“Was he a member?”
“Mom…”
“Was he a member?”
“I don’t think so. I don’t recognize him.”
“Then what’s he doing in our Chapter room. Only members are supposed to be in the Chapter room? What’s he doing here?”
“Mom, the Bible is closed.”
“Well, I suppose it’s okay then.”
By this time Anne regained her composure enough to clear the room and ask everyone to wait downstairs in the dining hall until the police arrived. She knew the police would want to talk to everyone.
As he left, Worthy Patron Harry said, “I sure hope they can find Mary Moran. She’ll be half way to Tacoma by now.”
Anne noticed Helen was standing at the altar looking at the body with tears in her eyes. “Helen, what’s wrong? Do you know him?”
“It’s Jim Ferguson, that retired software guy who moved here about 8 months ago. What a waste.”
“What do you mean by that, Helen? Was he a friend of yours.”
“Not really a friend - just an acquaintance. He lived down the street from me. We used to see each other in passing quite a bit and I was hoping …..well, he was one of the few decent single men around my age left in this town. Do you know how hard it is to find decent single men around my age in this town?”
Anne put her arm around Helen’s shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Oh, I see. That sucks!”
Monday, March 24, 2008
Lesson 5 – Plots – Part 2
As mentioned in my last post, a scene must have a beginning, middle and end. They liken it to an average workday. You begin by getting up, bathing, dressing, eating, and heading to work.
The middle is your work or school. The end is going home, relaxing, eating, TV, family or friends and then bed. Some days are more interesting, exciting and fulfilling than others. It’s the same with a scene.
Beginnings:
The beginning of a scene has only one mission – to hook the reader and make them want to continue reading. There are several places to begin a scene.
Begin in the middle – in medias res.
Basically this means that you first grab the reader’s interest and make them care before you give them all the intricate details. Begin with the action that causes all the reaction. You can also begin immediately after the action that sets the story in motion – i.e. “At least nothing was broken.”
Begin with dialogue
This is a variation on the above. The advantage is that the reader is stepping into something ongoing; therefore there is already an established momentum to sweep them along. There is also the suspense of figuring out the context of the conversation. It’s an interesting and subtle way to present characterization quickly.
Kicking off the scene with dialogue creates immediate momentum and interest because we want to know more about the situation that prompts the dialogue. It also enables the author to deliver characterization, background information, plot conflict and more – all while the reader is distracted by the flow of conversation.
The jump cut
The first line is some action or line of dialogue which has nothing to do with the previous scene even though we’re with the same characters. This can create a sense of suspense because the reader wants to know what happened between the time the last scene ended and this one began.
The big promise opening
Another technique for beginning a scene is to make a promise about what the scene will do. The greater the impact of the claim, the greater the reader’s interest in the scene. Examples of big claims would be:
“When I opened the door I had no idea this was the beginning of the day that would destroy my life.”
“What Anne did next changed everything she’d ever believed about men.”
It’s a “nothing will ever be the same” type opening.
Beginning at the beginning
Our text points out that many beginning writers use this technique poorly, using it out of laziness or because they don’t know there are other options. First you need to clarify where the beginning really is.
1. Setting.
You might begin with a description of the setting if the setting itself is a crucial character in the story or scene. He uses an example from Snow Falling on Cedars in which setting is used to do more than establish the weather; it also underscores the theme of the book.
2. Time
Begin based on the time of day rather than the location. The danger of the “I woke to the blast from the clock radio,” type of opening is that it’s been done so often it’s almost a cliché and needs to be revitalized to hold the attention of the reader. The details need to create interest and suspense. The advantage is that it immediately plunges the reader into a character’s life and world. Seeing them wake up and how they start their day shows us rather than tells us how they live and feel.
3. Action
Another beginning is to introduce us to the action that causes the plot. For example, you might open with a car crash. Your story might not be about the crash itself, but how the crash affected the people who saw it or were involved in it.
The buddy system
Basically, this is introducing a character through another character. You begin a scene with someone describing another character – usually the main character. A major advantage to this technique is that it builds immediate interest about the character being discussed. You can use this technique to reveal another aspect of the main character in each new scene from the narrator’s POV. Having a sidekick tell the story – like Watson in Sherlock Holmes stories – keeps the suspense heightened because we aren’t allowed inside the main character’s head.
Character description
1. Self description
Because the character is describing herself, the reader recognizes that we can’t always trust her opinions. They can be unreliable and have a skewed perspective, but it shows us what they think and feel about themselves.
2. Third-person POV description
This reveals more of the author’s judgment of the character.
Dream sequences
The advice here is that unless the dream is integral to the story, don’t open with it. You can get the reader all excited and swept up in the story only to find out it’s not true. Then they’ll be disappointed and probably angry at such a cheap trick. The lesson says writers usually use this technique because they can’t think of a legitimately interesting way to open the scene without this gimmick.
Final thoughts on beginnings
If you aren’t sure of your beginning, they recommend trying several different approaches until you get the one that feels right to you.
A good opening must compel the writer as much as the reader. It must force the reader to wonder what will happen next.
There’s a lot to this lesson. More later.
The middle is your work or school. The end is going home, relaxing, eating, TV, family or friends and then bed. Some days are more interesting, exciting and fulfilling than others. It’s the same with a scene.
Beginnings:
The beginning of a scene has only one mission – to hook the reader and make them want to continue reading. There are several places to begin a scene.
Begin in the middle – in medias res.
Basically this means that you first grab the reader’s interest and make them care before you give them all the intricate details. Begin with the action that causes all the reaction. You can also begin immediately after the action that sets the story in motion – i.e. “At least nothing was broken.”
Begin with dialogue
This is a variation on the above. The advantage is that the reader is stepping into something ongoing; therefore there is already an established momentum to sweep them along. There is also the suspense of figuring out the context of the conversation. It’s an interesting and subtle way to present characterization quickly.
Kicking off the scene with dialogue creates immediate momentum and interest because we want to know more about the situation that prompts the dialogue. It also enables the author to deliver characterization, background information, plot conflict and more – all while the reader is distracted by the flow of conversation.
The jump cut
The first line is some action or line of dialogue which has nothing to do with the previous scene even though we’re with the same characters. This can create a sense of suspense because the reader wants to know what happened between the time the last scene ended and this one began.
The big promise opening
Another technique for beginning a scene is to make a promise about what the scene will do. The greater the impact of the claim, the greater the reader’s interest in the scene. Examples of big claims would be:
“When I opened the door I had no idea this was the beginning of the day that would destroy my life.”
“What Anne did next changed everything she’d ever believed about men.”
It’s a “nothing will ever be the same” type opening.
Beginning at the beginning
Our text points out that many beginning writers use this technique poorly, using it out of laziness or because they don’t know there are other options. First you need to clarify where the beginning really is.
1. Setting.
You might begin with a description of the setting if the setting itself is a crucial character in the story or scene. He uses an example from Snow Falling on Cedars in which setting is used to do more than establish the weather; it also underscores the theme of the book.
2. Time
Begin based on the time of day rather than the location. The danger of the “I woke to the blast from the clock radio,” type of opening is that it’s been done so often it’s almost a cliché and needs to be revitalized to hold the attention of the reader. The details need to create interest and suspense. The advantage is that it immediately plunges the reader into a character’s life and world. Seeing them wake up and how they start their day shows us rather than tells us how they live and feel.
3. Action
Another beginning is to introduce us to the action that causes the plot. For example, you might open with a car crash. Your story might not be about the crash itself, but how the crash affected the people who saw it or were involved in it.
The buddy system
Basically, this is introducing a character through another character. You begin a scene with someone describing another character – usually the main character. A major advantage to this technique is that it builds immediate interest about the character being discussed. You can use this technique to reveal another aspect of the main character in each new scene from the narrator’s POV. Having a sidekick tell the story – like Watson in Sherlock Holmes stories – keeps the suspense heightened because we aren’t allowed inside the main character’s head.
Character description
1. Self description
Because the character is describing herself, the reader recognizes that we can’t always trust her opinions. They can be unreliable and have a skewed perspective, but it shows us what they think and feel about themselves.
2. Third-person POV description
This reveals more of the author’s judgment of the character.
Dream sequences
The advice here is that unless the dream is integral to the story, don’t open with it. You can get the reader all excited and swept up in the story only to find out it’s not true. Then they’ll be disappointed and probably angry at such a cheap trick. The lesson says writers usually use this technique because they can’t think of a legitimately interesting way to open the scene without this gimmick.
Final thoughts on beginnings
If you aren’t sure of your beginning, they recommend trying several different approaches until you get the one that feels right to you.
A good opening must compel the writer as much as the reader. It must force the reader to wonder what will happen next.
There’s a lot to this lesson. More later.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Lesson 5 – Plot - Part 1
The first 2 paragraphs of our reading assignment (about 90 pages this week) surprised me because they describe a plot as “what happens in the story.” It’s the events that take place and has nothing to do with theme or meaning or how the characters feel – only their actions. They use this example from J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye: An adolescent boy is thrown out of prep school, makes his way back to New York, confronts various people, and has a nervous breakdown. That’s it. Those are the main plot points.
There are specific events that occur to move those main plot points forward. A good plot surprises – not with cheap twists and silly reversals, but with a variety of possible actions resulting from a variety of complex human emotions. The writer’s challenge is to make the plot twists natural and come from the characters needs and desires. They must have proper motivation and not be arbitrary.
Conflict is the fuel that drives the plot forward. Without it, there is no story. There are two kinds of conflict – internal and external. Internal conflict is a personality flaw that prevents a character from achieving whatever goal he’s after. Pride is a good example. An external conflict is like an avalanche that blocks the road and prevents the character from going somewhere. External conflicts can be symbolic representations of internal conflicts. The example given is of a man who says he wants to meet his father but can’t because of a critical meeting that could save his failing business. The failing business could be caused by his pride which is keeping his father from him.
Elements of a plot:
1. BEGINNING
· Introduction
Introduces: characters, core conflict, setting, tone
· Antecedent Action
Explanation of events prior to the opening of story to provide clarity. This could include background information about the characters or the situation.
2. MIDDLE
· Suspense
Suspense can be created by showing the audience something in such a way that they know it will become a major factor later (for example, showing a destroyed spaceship in Alien foreshadows the trouble this crew will face).
· Conflict
The establishment of a genuinely felt conflict creates a natural suspense quotient. The higher the stakes concerning this outcome, the more the reader is involved.
· Reversal
This is the dramatic turning point. It occurs when the protagonist discovers that the outcome of all his/her plans is not what he/she had expected. It can occur by coincidence, but is better if it occurs by design of other characters, or as the result of something the protagonist did. An example of the latter: Early in the story the hero is a cad and unceremoniously dumps his girlfriend. Later he grows and becomes a nice guy, meets a girl, plans to get married. Right before the wedding, the dumped ex-girlfriend returns to tell the new girlfriend some awful secret about the hero's past, threatening the pending nuptials.
· Climax
This is not the end of the story, but rather that point in the story at which the rest of the events become inevitable. Technically, it is the end of the middle.
3. END
· Catastrophe and Dénouement
The catastrophe in tragedy/drama is where the protagonist or someone close to him dies. More commonly, it is the point in the story where it looks as if all is lost. The denouement is the tying up of loose ends.
Scenes
All of the plot elements are made up of scenes. There can be thousands of scenes in a novel. The scenes can be composed of dialogue, action and/or narration. Each scene has its own beginning, middle and end. How you write scenes and string them together depends on what you are writing.
What makes a scene memorable are those moments so powerful they catch the reader off-guard and stay in their memory long after the book is back on the shelf. The writers job is to make even the most predictable scene an unexpected experience for the reader by elevating it through fresh dialogue, unusual situations or a unique and wonderful voice.
They advise writers who have sudden ideas for unique scenes in off-beat settings to go ahead and write them. Later you can ask the crucial questions. Why is it here? What do I hope to accomplish with it? How can I best utilize this odd setting? You can then transform the great idea into a fully realized scene, rich with nuance, texture, character and theme.
Though every scene has a purpose or focus, the best scenes achieve this subtlety through misdirection. The reader is looking at one hand while you manipulate them with the other. This is especially important if the scene exists merely to deliver information.
A scene is like a single member of a family. It is loved for its own individuality, but its greatest power is its contribution to the larger group. First concentrate on the elements that make the scene work on its own as an isolated mini-story, then judge each scene’s effectiveness by how much it contributes to the whole work.
Focus
A scene should do two or more of these four things: 1. advance the plot, 2. develop the characters, 3. illustrate the theme, 4.contribute to suspense. They recommend reading each scene again when you’re finished and completing the following sentences:
1. The Plot Focus:
The purpose of this scene is to _____________
2. The Character Focus:
When the reader finishes this scene, they should feel __________
3. The Theme Focus:
When the reader finishes this scene, they should think ____________
4. The Suspense Focus:
When the reader finishes this scene, they should wonder _________________
If you can’t complete at least two of these sentences to your satisfaction, the scene either needs work or needs to be cut.
Look for Part 2 soon and as always, remember this is just a synopsis of about 90 pages of material.
There are specific events that occur to move those main plot points forward. A good plot surprises – not with cheap twists and silly reversals, but with a variety of possible actions resulting from a variety of complex human emotions. The writer’s challenge is to make the plot twists natural and come from the characters needs and desires. They must have proper motivation and not be arbitrary.
Conflict is the fuel that drives the plot forward. Without it, there is no story. There are two kinds of conflict – internal and external. Internal conflict is a personality flaw that prevents a character from achieving whatever goal he’s after. Pride is a good example. An external conflict is like an avalanche that blocks the road and prevents the character from going somewhere. External conflicts can be symbolic representations of internal conflicts. The example given is of a man who says he wants to meet his father but can’t because of a critical meeting that could save his failing business. The failing business could be caused by his pride which is keeping his father from him.
Elements of a plot:
1. BEGINNING
· Introduction
Introduces: characters, core conflict, setting, tone
· Antecedent Action
Explanation of events prior to the opening of story to provide clarity. This could include background information about the characters or the situation.
2. MIDDLE
· Suspense
Suspense can be created by showing the audience something in such a way that they know it will become a major factor later (for example, showing a destroyed spaceship in Alien foreshadows the trouble this crew will face).
· Conflict
The establishment of a genuinely felt conflict creates a natural suspense quotient. The higher the stakes concerning this outcome, the more the reader is involved.
· Reversal
This is the dramatic turning point. It occurs when the protagonist discovers that the outcome of all his/her plans is not what he/she had expected. It can occur by coincidence, but is better if it occurs by design of other characters, or as the result of something the protagonist did. An example of the latter: Early in the story the hero is a cad and unceremoniously dumps his girlfriend. Later he grows and becomes a nice guy, meets a girl, plans to get married. Right before the wedding, the dumped ex-girlfriend returns to tell the new girlfriend some awful secret about the hero's past, threatening the pending nuptials.
· Climax
This is not the end of the story, but rather that point in the story at which the rest of the events become inevitable. Technically, it is the end of the middle.
3. END
· Catastrophe and Dénouement
The catastrophe in tragedy/drama is where the protagonist or someone close to him dies. More commonly, it is the point in the story where it looks as if all is lost. The denouement is the tying up of loose ends.
Scenes
All of the plot elements are made up of scenes. There can be thousands of scenes in a novel. The scenes can be composed of dialogue, action and/or narration. Each scene has its own beginning, middle and end. How you write scenes and string them together depends on what you are writing.
What makes a scene memorable are those moments so powerful they catch the reader off-guard and stay in their memory long after the book is back on the shelf. The writers job is to make even the most predictable scene an unexpected experience for the reader by elevating it through fresh dialogue, unusual situations or a unique and wonderful voice.
They advise writers who have sudden ideas for unique scenes in off-beat settings to go ahead and write them. Later you can ask the crucial questions. Why is it here? What do I hope to accomplish with it? How can I best utilize this odd setting? You can then transform the great idea into a fully realized scene, rich with nuance, texture, character and theme.
Though every scene has a purpose or focus, the best scenes achieve this subtlety through misdirection. The reader is looking at one hand while you manipulate them with the other. This is especially important if the scene exists merely to deliver information.
A scene is like a single member of a family. It is loved for its own individuality, but its greatest power is its contribution to the larger group. First concentrate on the elements that make the scene work on its own as an isolated mini-story, then judge each scene’s effectiveness by how much it contributes to the whole work.
Focus
A scene should do two or more of these four things: 1. advance the plot, 2. develop the characters, 3. illustrate the theme, 4.contribute to suspense. They recommend reading each scene again when you’re finished and completing the following sentences:
1. The Plot Focus:
The purpose of this scene is to _____________
2. The Character Focus:
When the reader finishes this scene, they should feel __________
3. The Theme Focus:
When the reader finishes this scene, they should think ____________
4. The Suspense Focus:
When the reader finishes this scene, they should wonder _________________
If you can’t complete at least two of these sentences to your satisfaction, the scene either needs work or needs to be cut.
Look for Part 2 soon and as always, remember this is just a synopsis of about 90 pages of material.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Lesson 4 - Instructor's comments
We’re in Anne’s first-person point of view as the first scene opens. Anne is curious about the noise above her head, but then Helen and Jean arrive. Does the reader already know what the sign says? If not, it seems you should tell us here, since it’s the focus of their dialogue. The women hear the noise above them, and Anne tells the others she’d like to go check it out. Now, we’re in first person, so you can easily go inside of Anne’s head to let the reader in on what she thinks the noise might be. Jean’s chicken, and so Helen and Anne head up the stairs. Helen stops, changing her mind. The dialogue is working here as they go back and forth about whether they should keep going or not. The narrative works, too, as Helen opens the door and turns on the light. What’s missing for me is Anne’s internal dialogue. The advantage of the first person point of view is that we get to be up close and personal with the viewpoint character as she thinks about her goal in the scene, the obstacles that come at her to keep her from achieving it, her thoughts and feelings about the other characters. This is where much of the tension comes into a scene of dialogue—what the character’s thinking that she can’t say out loud.
In the second passage, we’re in Helen’s third-person point of view. I mean, you’ve headed up the scene with that, but as I start reading, there’s no way I would know that. How about entering Helen’s head, so that the reader can experience the action from inside of Helen? What’s important to her in this scene? When in a point of view, we’re inside. Helen can’t see her own face blushing, so instead of showing her face to the reader, reveal her thoughts about Anne’s question about the sign. What is she thinking when they hear the noise? The scene proceeds much as it did before. The only part that’s really different is a line or two inside of Helen’s head as she watches Anne go upstairs. She feels a tinge of guilt. This is the only time you go inside of her so that we can tell that this is her viewpoint. So I’d just like to suggest that whether you’re writing in first or third-person point of view, you make sure to penetrate the character’s head as this is how you reveal to the reader whose viewpoint we’re in. It’s how the character thinks and observes the situation and the other characters. It’s how he perceives himself. This is how the reader gets to know the character from the inside out.
In the second passage, we’re in Helen’s third-person point of view. I mean, you’ve headed up the scene with that, but as I start reading, there’s no way I would know that. How about entering Helen’s head, so that the reader can experience the action from inside of Helen? What’s important to her in this scene? When in a point of view, we’re inside. Helen can’t see her own face blushing, so instead of showing her face to the reader, reveal her thoughts about Anne’s question about the sign. What is she thinking when they hear the noise? The scene proceeds much as it did before. The only part that’s really different is a line or two inside of Helen’s head as she watches Anne go upstairs. She feels a tinge of guilt. This is the only time you go inside of her so that we can tell that this is her viewpoint. So I’d just like to suggest that whether you’re writing in first or third-person point of view, you make sure to penetrate the character’s head as this is how you reveal to the reader whose viewpoint we’re in. It’s how the character thinks and observes the situation and the other characters. It’s how he perceives himself. This is how the reader gets to know the character from the inside out.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Lesson 4 - assignment
Caveat: I realize this may be boring for some of you because I’m using the same people and scene repeatedly, but this course is about the fundamentals of writing. Right now I’m just trying to learn techniques to make me a better writer so the plot and story is secondary.
Assignment for Session Four:
Write a 500-word first-person scene that presents a conversation (and related action) between two or three characters. In this scene, the first-person narrator will be your POV character. Then, rewrite the same scene in limited third-person POV, using a different viewpoint character (indicate to your instructor which character is the viewpoint character). Make changes that would be appropriate to the new POV character's perspective, but keep the essential details the same.
First Person - Anne as viewpoint character:
A floorboard creaked over my head. I walked to the bottom of the stairs and called, “Who’s there? Is someone up there?” There was no response but the big front door opened and I was relieved to see Helen and Jean.
“All right. Which one of you is responsible for the sign?”
Helen blushed and Jean looked innocently up at the ceiling. “Well whoever did it needs to change it before the rest of the group arrives.”
“You don’t like it?” Helen said.
“I love it, but something tells me a few of our members won’t appreciate your sense of humor.”
The floorboard creaked overhead again and all three of us looked at the ceiling.
“Is someone here with you?” said Jean.
“No. I heard the same noise just before you came in, but no one answered when I called. Maybe we should go upstairs and check it out.”
“Not on your life,” said Jean. “The men will be here soon. They can go up there.”
“Don’t be such a sissy,” said Helen. “Let’s go see what’s going on. It’s probably just the old building making noises anyway.”
“Well, you two can go, but I’m staying here,” said Jean.
Helen and I started towards the wide old stairs covered with the worn burgundy runners. As we started up, Helen sat down on the third step and said, “Maybe we should wait.”
“Wait for what? There’s nothing up there. It’s an old building and the creaking is normal. Are you afraid?”
“Yes and you should be too. How can you be so calm and complacent? What if there’s an ax murderer up there?”
“What if there’s nothing up there and we wait like babies until the men come and rescue us? They’ll never let us live it down. Come on!”
“OK, but you first. I’ll be right behind you.”
I could feel her holding back watching me climb the stairs, but since I made such a point of being brave my pride wouldn’t let me stop. At the top of the stairs, I hesitated in the darkened foyer. An involuntary shudder swept over me as I approached the door to the musty lodge room and my heart was beating wildly. I took a deep breath, opened the door and quickly flipped on the lights. “See, there’s no one here,” I said turning around. “Helen, where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be right behind me.”
Helen came running up the stairs laughing. “One of us had to stay behind to call the police.”
“Right. And now one of us is going to have to set up the chapter room all by herself.”
“Not on your life. I’m not going back into that dark old storage locker by myself.”
I sighed and laughed. “Come on chicken.”
Third Person Limited - Helen as viewpoint character:
Jean ran up the steps out of breath from rushing. “We’re late again. Anne’s going to be pissed.”
“I know,” said Helen, “but I’m too old to run and we’re not that late.”
“God, Helen. You’re only 62. That’s not old. Quit trying to make yourself ancient before your time.”
Opening the door they could see Anne standing in the hallway, arms folded across her chest, peering over her reading glasses. “All right,” she said. “Which one of you is responsible for the sign?”
Helen blushed and Jean looked innocently up at the ceiling. “Well whoever did it needs to change it before the rest of the group arrives.”
“You don’t like it?” Helen said.
“I love it, but something tells me a few of our members won’t appreciate your sense of humor.”
The floorboard creaked overhead again and they looked at the ceiling.
“Is someone here with you?” said Jean.
“No. I heard the same noise just before you came in, but no one answered when I called. Maybe we should go upstairs and check it out.”
“Not on your life,” said Jean. “The men will be here soon. They can go up there.”
“Don’t be such a sissy,” said Helen. “Let’s go see what’s going on. It’s probably just the old building making noises anyway.”
“Well, you two can go, but I’m staying here,” said Jean.
Helen and Anne started towards the wide old stairs covered with the worn burgundy runners. Anne started up, but Helen sat down on the third step and said, “Maybe we should wait.”
“Wait for what? There’s nothing up there. It’s an old building and the creaking is normal. Are you afraid?”
“Yes and you should be too. How can you be so calm and complacent? What if there’s an ax murderer up there?”
“What if there’s nothing up there and we wait like babies until the men come and rescue us? They’ll never let us live it down. Come on!”
“OK, but you first. I’ll be right behind you.”
Helen watched Anne go upstairs and followed one slow step at a time. She heard her in the foyer upstairs and felt a slight tinge of guilt for not being braver and more supportive. She was relieved to see the light go on and hear Anne call, “See, there’s no one here. Helen, where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be right behind me.”
Helen ran up the stairs laughing. “One of us had to stay behind to call the police.”
“Right. And now one of us is going to have to set up the chapter room all by herself.”
“Not on your life. I’m not going back into that dark old storage locker by myself.”
Anne sighed and laughed. “Come on chicken.”
“Bwaaaaaaaak, bak, bak, bak, bak, bak bak, bak!”
Any comments or critiques are welcome and appreciated.
Assignment for Session Four:
Write a 500-word first-person scene that presents a conversation (and related action) between two or three characters. In this scene, the first-person narrator will be your POV character. Then, rewrite the same scene in limited third-person POV, using a different viewpoint character (indicate to your instructor which character is the viewpoint character). Make changes that would be appropriate to the new POV character's perspective, but keep the essential details the same.
First Person - Anne as viewpoint character:
A floorboard creaked over my head. I walked to the bottom of the stairs and called, “Who’s there? Is someone up there?” There was no response but the big front door opened and I was relieved to see Helen and Jean.
“All right. Which one of you is responsible for the sign?”
Helen blushed and Jean looked innocently up at the ceiling. “Well whoever did it needs to change it before the rest of the group arrives.”
“You don’t like it?” Helen said.
“I love it, but something tells me a few of our members won’t appreciate your sense of humor.”
The floorboard creaked overhead again and all three of us looked at the ceiling.
“Is someone here with you?” said Jean.
“No. I heard the same noise just before you came in, but no one answered when I called. Maybe we should go upstairs and check it out.”
“Not on your life,” said Jean. “The men will be here soon. They can go up there.”
“Don’t be such a sissy,” said Helen. “Let’s go see what’s going on. It’s probably just the old building making noises anyway.”
“Well, you two can go, but I’m staying here,” said Jean.
Helen and I started towards the wide old stairs covered with the worn burgundy runners. As we started up, Helen sat down on the third step and said, “Maybe we should wait.”
“Wait for what? There’s nothing up there. It’s an old building and the creaking is normal. Are you afraid?”
“Yes and you should be too. How can you be so calm and complacent? What if there’s an ax murderer up there?”
“What if there’s nothing up there and we wait like babies until the men come and rescue us? They’ll never let us live it down. Come on!”
“OK, but you first. I’ll be right behind you.”
I could feel her holding back watching me climb the stairs, but since I made such a point of being brave my pride wouldn’t let me stop. At the top of the stairs, I hesitated in the darkened foyer. An involuntary shudder swept over me as I approached the door to the musty lodge room and my heart was beating wildly. I took a deep breath, opened the door and quickly flipped on the lights. “See, there’s no one here,” I said turning around. “Helen, where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be right behind me.”
Helen came running up the stairs laughing. “One of us had to stay behind to call the police.”
“Right. And now one of us is going to have to set up the chapter room all by herself.”
“Not on your life. I’m not going back into that dark old storage locker by myself.”
I sighed and laughed. “Come on chicken.”
Third Person Limited - Helen as viewpoint character:
Jean ran up the steps out of breath from rushing. “We’re late again. Anne’s going to be pissed.”
“I know,” said Helen, “but I’m too old to run and we’re not that late.”
“God, Helen. You’re only 62. That’s not old. Quit trying to make yourself ancient before your time.”
Opening the door they could see Anne standing in the hallway, arms folded across her chest, peering over her reading glasses. “All right,” she said. “Which one of you is responsible for the sign?”
Helen blushed and Jean looked innocently up at the ceiling. “Well whoever did it needs to change it before the rest of the group arrives.”
“You don’t like it?” Helen said.
“I love it, but something tells me a few of our members won’t appreciate your sense of humor.”
The floorboard creaked overhead again and they looked at the ceiling.
“Is someone here with you?” said Jean.
“No. I heard the same noise just before you came in, but no one answered when I called. Maybe we should go upstairs and check it out.”
“Not on your life,” said Jean. “The men will be here soon. They can go up there.”
“Don’t be such a sissy,” said Helen. “Let’s go see what’s going on. It’s probably just the old building making noises anyway.”
“Well, you two can go, but I’m staying here,” said Jean.
Helen and Anne started towards the wide old stairs covered with the worn burgundy runners. Anne started up, but Helen sat down on the third step and said, “Maybe we should wait.”
“Wait for what? There’s nothing up there. It’s an old building and the creaking is normal. Are you afraid?”
“Yes and you should be too. How can you be so calm and complacent? What if there’s an ax murderer up there?”
“What if there’s nothing up there and we wait like babies until the men come and rescue us? They’ll never let us live it down. Come on!”
“OK, but you first. I’ll be right behind you.”
Helen watched Anne go upstairs and followed one slow step at a time. She heard her in the foyer upstairs and felt a slight tinge of guilt for not being braver and more supportive. She was relieved to see the light go on and hear Anne call, “See, there’s no one here. Helen, where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be right behind me.”
Helen ran up the stairs laughing. “One of us had to stay behind to call the police.”
“Right. And now one of us is going to have to set up the chapter room all by herself.”
“Not on your life. I’m not going back into that dark old storage locker by myself.”
Anne sighed and laughed. “Come on chicken.”
“Bwaaaaaaaak, bak, bak, bak, bak, bak bak, bak!”
Any comments or critiques are welcome and appreciated.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Lesson 4 - Dialogue
Again, this is a synopsis of about 50 pages of reading, but here are the highpoints.
The Function of Dialogue in Fiction
Dialogue is simply characters speaking aloud. It has many advantages:
1. Immediacy. Dialogue intensifies a scene by making it more immediate and lively. Generally, readers are more involved in the story if they experience the events and conversations rather than have someone tell them about them later.
2. Characterization. Dialogue is an excellent method of revealing character. When you hear the character's own words, it's easier to understand what kind of person he or she is. The way in which people speak reveals how interesting/ educated/funny/unhappy/etc. they are.
3. Information. It serves as a shorthand way of delivering information to the readers. Unloading background or character information in the middle of a story is called an info dump. Even if the information is crucial to understanding the character or for the plot of the story, it usually stops the momentum of the story. However, when such information is presented in dialogue, the momentum can be maintained. The conversation delivering the info is a misdirection, meaning you get the reader involved in the conversation and then slip the crucial info in without them noticing.
Writing Realistic Dialogue
There's a big difference between "realistic" and "real." In life, real is everything that happens to you during the entire day. A story takes the essence of that same day, but cuts out the boring parts. Same thing in dialogue. In real life, when most people speak they meander, repeat themselves, pause, digress, say "uh" and "um" a lot.
The writer tries to duplicate the rhythm of real speech, but cleans it up by cutting out the boring parts. Good dialogue isn't reality, it's "heightened reality."
General Rules of Dialogue Usage
There are some general rules about dialogue to keep in mind:
1. Start a new paragraph with each new speaker.
The Function of Dialogue in Fiction
Dialogue is simply characters speaking aloud. It has many advantages:
1. Immediacy. Dialogue intensifies a scene by making it more immediate and lively. Generally, readers are more involved in the story if they experience the events and conversations rather than have someone tell them about them later.
2. Characterization. Dialogue is an excellent method of revealing character. When you hear the character's own words, it's easier to understand what kind of person he or she is. The way in which people speak reveals how interesting/ educated/funny/unhappy/etc. they are.
3. Information. It serves as a shorthand way of delivering information to the readers. Unloading background or character information in the middle of a story is called an info dump. Even if the information is crucial to understanding the character or for the plot of the story, it usually stops the momentum of the story. However, when such information is presented in dialogue, the momentum can be maintained. The conversation delivering the info is a misdirection, meaning you get the reader involved in the conversation and then slip the crucial info in without them noticing.
Writing Realistic Dialogue
There's a big difference between "realistic" and "real." In life, real is everything that happens to you during the entire day. A story takes the essence of that same day, but cuts out the boring parts. Same thing in dialogue. In real life, when most people speak they meander, repeat themselves, pause, digress, say "uh" and "um" a lot.
The writer tries to duplicate the rhythm of real speech, but cleans it up by cutting out the boring parts. Good dialogue isn't reality, it's "heightened reality."
General Rules of Dialogue Usage
There are some general rules about dialogue to keep in mind:
1. Start a new paragraph with each new speaker.
2. Don't put thoughts in quotes, it confuses the reader as to which lines are being spoken and which are being thought. Use underlining or italics to indicate a character's thoughts without attribution (Like that's really going to happen) or simply include a tag that indicates thought (Like that's really going to happen, he thought).
3. Terminal punctuation (commas, periods, question marks) goes inside the quotation marks.
4. Beginning writers sometimes wait until the end of a long speech to add the tag line. If you are going to use a tag line, do so as soon as stylistically possible. If you wait too long, the reader won't know who the speaker is until the end, and not knowing distracts the reader from what is being said.
5. Avoid using too many tags. This includes padding with a lot of description or gestures. Sometimes the dialogue must flow without interruption, with minimal tags. If only two characters are speaking, you can let several lines go without any tags.
6. Avoid adverbs in the tag lines (i.e., "Stop!" she shouted urgently.) The characters urgency is implied in the dialogue and by the fact that she shouted. The adverb distracts the reader.
7. Keep your tags simple. The longer and more elaborate the tag line, the more the actual dialogue becomes smothered.
8. Don't overuse names when characters address each other: "Hi, Jim, how are you?" "Fine, Sam." "Say, Jim, is that a new watch?" "No, Sam, same old one." This constant use of their names makes the dialogue stiff and robotic-sounding.
Quotation Marks
First, they are used to enclose words and phrases to which special attention needs to be drawn. If a word is used out of context or in some other unusual way, such as to include a slang word in formal writing, or when it is being used sarcastically, it should appear in quotes:
"Of" is an ambiguous preposition, for it can mean "from" or "by."
Yeah, it was a "happy" occasion, all right, if you like being humiliated in public!
He really is quite a "square" fellow.
In the first sentence we've used prepositions as nouns, which is allowable only if we put them in quotation marks. Sentence two involves sarcasm; that is, a meaning that is exactly opposite of what is said. You put "happy" in quotation marks because you want to be sure the reader catches the irony (in much the same way a speaker will make "air quotes" with his hands to make sure the audience understands the intended sarcasm). The final sentence uses quotes to insert a slang expression into a more formal context; omitting the quotes would make it seem that the writer was using informal language inappropriately.
A second use of quotation marks involves titles. Use them in the following instances:
-short artistic works (poems, songs, television and radio programs)
-titles of individual courses of study (but not areas)
-short stories
-articles in magazines
-any literary piece that is not bound as a book
Quotes and Dialogue
Quotation marks are used to indicate direct quotations and dialogue. Whenever you are putting the speaker's actual words on the page, use quotation marks; when you are merely telling your reader what someone said, don't use quotation marks.
Now here are three very important rules about punctuation with quotation marks:
1. Periods and commas always occur inside quotation marks:
2. Semicolons and colons always occur outside quotation marks:
3. Question and exclamation marks may occur inside or outside quotation marks, depending on the meaning of the sentence:
Varying the location of the attribution can also change the stress of the sentence. In a long quote or line of dialogue, using an interrupting attribution can remind the reader who is speaking, or serve to reinforce the main ideas of a quote by separating them and making each more distinct.
His manager said, "The trouble with John is his lack of education in the field."
"The trouble with John is his lack of education in the field," his manager said.
"The trouble with John," his manager said, "is his lack of education in the field."
The two main ideas in this sentence are "the trouble with John" and "his lack of education in the field." The third sentence is perhaps the most forceful because by breaking up the manager's statement, equal weight is given to both parts.
To prevent the reader from being confused about who is speaking, each change in speaker is indicated by a new paragraph because it makes it easy for the reader to keep track of who is speaking because of the way the dialogue is separated for each speaker.
The final rule involves quotations within quotations. For such internal quotations, use the apostrophe, sometimes called a single quote when used in this way:
"That's fine by me," Father cautioned, "but remember what Grandma used to say: 'Early to bed, early to rise. . .
I hope you all find this useful. Again, this is not my work but a massive cut and past of some of the most important parts of the lessons. In a day or 2 I'll post my assignment for this lesson.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
My submission for Session 3
The assignment: Using one of the characters profiled, write 3 different characterization studies focusing on; 1. narrative – only the character’s viewpoint should be used, 2. dialogue and 3. action. Use the same viewpoint character, setting and story for all three.
1. Narration:
Everyone thought she was 10 years younger until they got close enough to see the deepening wrinkles and grey flecks hiding in her medium brown hair. The serene grey eyes and expressionless face revealed no inner thoughts, but a relaxed confidence made her appear approachable. Fashionable navy pants covered her long legs, topped by a perfectly matched cardigan with a deep red sweater underneath. Similar red earrings were her only jewelry.
An easy smile often crossed her face and her thoughtful gaze inspired others to reveal their innermost thoughts without realizing it. Everyone knew Anne could keep a secret. They just didn’t know why she was so adept. In the 25 years since she moved to Freeland, few people pierced the hard emotional shell. Her past was buried deep and she had no desire or need to revisit it.
She rarely talked of her family and then only in general and vague terms. She was a good, reliable worker – both at her job and social settings. This allowed her to deflect many unanswered questions from well meaning friends. If you needed a job done right, or needed to know how to do it right, Anne could find a way. Her ability to quickly understand problems and devise solutions was uncanny.
Anne and her dog lived in a comfortable home with an endless list of projects to prevent boredom from calling and she enjoyed the peace and serenity found there.
2. Dialogue
Anne and Helen went towards the old stairs covered with worn burgundy runners. As they started to go up, Helen sat down on the third step and said, “Maybe we should wait.”
“Wait for what? There’s nothing up there. It’s an old building and the creaking is normal. Are you afraid?”
“Yes and you should be too. How can you be so calm and complacent? What if there’s an ax murderer up there?”
“What if there’s nothing up there and we wait like babies until the men come and rescue us? They’ll never let us live it down. Come on!”
“OK, but you first,” Helen said. She held back and watched Anne climb the stairs. “I’m coming right behind you.”
At the top of the stairs, Anne hesitated in the darkened foyer. She approached the door to the musty lodge room, her heart beating wildly. Taking a deep breath she opened the door and quickly flipped on the lights. “See, there’s no one here,” she said turning around. “Helen, where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be right behind me.”
Helen came running up the stairs laughing. “One of us had to stay behind to call the police.”
“Right. And now one of us is going to have to set up the chapter room all by herself.”
“Not on your life. I’m not going back into that dark old storage locker by myself.”
Anne sighed and laughed. “Come on chicken.”
3. Action
Anne walked quickly through the room turning on every light to convert the stale darkness to the friendly warmth she associated with the room. The hall to the storage locker was unlocked which seemed rather odd, but this wasn’t the first time. Anne opened the locker door and began gathering the paraphernalia to set up the chapter room. She took the first batch out to Helen who was busy getting the chairs organized and returned for another load.
Several items were not in their proper places and irritated she searched shelves and back of the locker. The sword was partially hidden behind the file cabinet but came out easily and Anne finished her chore and closed the door.
She followed discretely behind Helen aligning the chairs and paraphernalia until everything was in perfect order, all the while assuring Helen she was doing a great job. Other members arrived to help and Anne directed them to various tasks in the chapter room and the dining hall downstairs.
The hour before the meeting was always a beehive of activity and Anne enjoyed watching everyone scurry around as the old building was transformed into a warm and inviting place.
1. Narration:
Everyone thought she was 10 years younger until they got close enough to see the deepening wrinkles and grey flecks hiding in her medium brown hair. The serene grey eyes and expressionless face revealed no inner thoughts, but a relaxed confidence made her appear approachable. Fashionable navy pants covered her long legs, topped by a perfectly matched cardigan with a deep red sweater underneath. Similar red earrings were her only jewelry.
An easy smile often crossed her face and her thoughtful gaze inspired others to reveal their innermost thoughts without realizing it. Everyone knew Anne could keep a secret. They just didn’t know why she was so adept. In the 25 years since she moved to Freeland, few people pierced the hard emotional shell. Her past was buried deep and she had no desire or need to revisit it.
She rarely talked of her family and then only in general and vague terms. She was a good, reliable worker – both at her job and social settings. This allowed her to deflect many unanswered questions from well meaning friends. If you needed a job done right, or needed to know how to do it right, Anne could find a way. Her ability to quickly understand problems and devise solutions was uncanny.
Anne and her dog lived in a comfortable home with an endless list of projects to prevent boredom from calling and she enjoyed the peace and serenity found there.
2. Dialogue
Anne and Helen went towards the old stairs covered with worn burgundy runners. As they started to go up, Helen sat down on the third step and said, “Maybe we should wait.”
“Wait for what? There’s nothing up there. It’s an old building and the creaking is normal. Are you afraid?”
“Yes and you should be too. How can you be so calm and complacent? What if there’s an ax murderer up there?”
“What if there’s nothing up there and we wait like babies until the men come and rescue us? They’ll never let us live it down. Come on!”
“OK, but you first,” Helen said. She held back and watched Anne climb the stairs. “I’m coming right behind you.”
At the top of the stairs, Anne hesitated in the darkened foyer. She approached the door to the musty lodge room, her heart beating wildly. Taking a deep breath she opened the door and quickly flipped on the lights. “See, there’s no one here,” she said turning around. “Helen, where the hell are you? You’re supposed to be right behind me.”
Helen came running up the stairs laughing. “One of us had to stay behind to call the police.”
“Right. And now one of us is going to have to set up the chapter room all by herself.”
“Not on your life. I’m not going back into that dark old storage locker by myself.”
Anne sighed and laughed. “Come on chicken.”
3. Action
Anne walked quickly through the room turning on every light to convert the stale darkness to the friendly warmth she associated with the room. The hall to the storage locker was unlocked which seemed rather odd, but this wasn’t the first time. Anne opened the locker door and began gathering the paraphernalia to set up the chapter room. She took the first batch out to Helen who was busy getting the chairs organized and returned for another load.
Several items were not in their proper places and irritated she searched shelves and back of the locker. The sword was partially hidden behind the file cabinet but came out easily and Anne finished her chore and closed the door.
She followed discretely behind Helen aligning the chairs and paraphernalia until everything was in perfect order, all the while assuring Helen she was doing a great job. Other members arrived to help and Anne directed them to various tasks in the chapter room and the dining hall downstairs.
The hour before the meeting was always a beehive of activity and Anne enjoyed watching everyone scurry around as the old building was transformed into a warm and inviting place.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Assignment for Session Three
This week’s reading assignment discusses three kinds of information we want to provide readers about our characters: physical description, personal history and character analysis. We should know our characters well to write about them convincingly, but the reader needs to know only what’s necessary to follow the story at any given point. In other words, instead of throwing all the food in the tank at one time and killing the fish (boring the reader), we need to sprinkle just enough on the water to keep them alive and coming back for more.
There are 3 primary techniques for characterization; narration, dialogue and action.
Narration involves the author giving information about the character to the reader either directly or through another character’s eyes. This can be a physical description, a personal history that provides perspective about whatever is happening in the story itself or a character analysis where the author or one of the characters tells us what they think of that person.
Dialogue (which will be the subject of our next session) is more active than narration because it allows readers to draw their own conclusions by seeing the character in action or through dialogue.
Showing the character in action can also tell the reader something about their personality. One of the examples in our reading material is, you’re sitting in a movie theater and someone yells, “Fire.” What do you do? Leap over the seat pushing people out of your way as your run for the exit? Help others towards the exit? Sit and finish your popcorn waiting for others to get out first? The point is that people reveal themselves in the way they act. It can be subtle – like how they pour coffee, or dramatic like yelling and screaming. Action also is a way of contrasting what a person says with what they actually do.
The second half of the reading discusses point of view (POV). It refers to the mind of the character through which the story is told. Viewpoints can be either objective – used when the narrator relates facts but avoids emotion – or subjective – incorporating a character’s thoughts and emotions into the story.
First person POV is the narrator telling the story as if it happened to them and uses “I”, “me” and “my”. It’s kind of like reading a person’s diary and can create an instant bond or personal relationship for the reader with the character. The reader experiences things with more immediacy and emotional impact. The danger is in overdoing and revealing too much of the character’s thoughts and opinions to the point of boring the reader.
Second person POV uses the pronoun “you”. They define it as a kind of chiding conscience, the moral super-ego showing the main character what his life has become which usually includes a hind of condemnation. It’s more difficult to engage the reader with this POV and it creates a darker tone.
Third person POV uses “he”, “she” and “they” and can be either omniscient or limited. Omniscient is everywhere at once and told from one character’s POV. Limited gives the perspective of one character at a time. If more than two characters are involved it’s called multiple third person limited. The danger of having too many POV’s is that it can dilute the tension.
So, you identify the character(s) best suited to tell the story and decide on their relationship to the reader. If you’re having trouble, they recommend writing the same passage from several POVs to see which one works best (something Travis discussed recently), but to make sure you only do one character’s POV per chapter.
This is a very brief synopsis of about 50 pages of material that sometimes almost put me to sleep. No offense to the authors, but whew! Anyway, tonight I’ll be working on my assignment which is: Using one of the characters profiled, write 3 different characterization studies focusing on; 1. narrative – only the character’s viewpoint should be used, 2. dialogue and 3. action. Use the same viewpoint character, setting and story for all three.
Feel free to join me. No snoozing allowed!
There are 3 primary techniques for characterization; narration, dialogue and action.
Narration involves the author giving information about the character to the reader either directly or through another character’s eyes. This can be a physical description, a personal history that provides perspective about whatever is happening in the story itself or a character analysis where the author or one of the characters tells us what they think of that person.
Dialogue (which will be the subject of our next session) is more active than narration because it allows readers to draw their own conclusions by seeing the character in action or through dialogue.
Showing the character in action can also tell the reader something about their personality. One of the examples in our reading material is, you’re sitting in a movie theater and someone yells, “Fire.” What do you do? Leap over the seat pushing people out of your way as your run for the exit? Help others towards the exit? Sit and finish your popcorn waiting for others to get out first? The point is that people reveal themselves in the way they act. It can be subtle – like how they pour coffee, or dramatic like yelling and screaming. Action also is a way of contrasting what a person says with what they actually do.
The second half of the reading discusses point of view (POV). It refers to the mind of the character through which the story is told. Viewpoints can be either objective – used when the narrator relates facts but avoids emotion – or subjective – incorporating a character’s thoughts and emotions into the story.
First person POV is the narrator telling the story as if it happened to them and uses “I”, “me” and “my”. It’s kind of like reading a person’s diary and can create an instant bond or personal relationship for the reader with the character. The reader experiences things with more immediacy and emotional impact. The danger is in overdoing and revealing too much of the character’s thoughts and opinions to the point of boring the reader.
Second person POV uses the pronoun “you”. They define it as a kind of chiding conscience, the moral super-ego showing the main character what his life has become which usually includes a hind of condemnation. It’s more difficult to engage the reader with this POV and it creates a darker tone.
Third person POV uses “he”, “she” and “they” and can be either omniscient or limited. Omniscient is everywhere at once and told from one character’s POV. Limited gives the perspective of one character at a time. If more than two characters are involved it’s called multiple third person limited. The danger of having too many POV’s is that it can dilute the tension.
So, you identify the character(s) best suited to tell the story and decide on their relationship to the reader. If you’re having trouble, they recommend writing the same passage from several POVs to see which one works best (something Travis discussed recently), but to make sure you only do one character’s POV per chapter.
This is a very brief synopsis of about 50 pages of material that sometimes almost put me to sleep. No offense to the authors, but whew! Anyway, tonight I’ll be working on my assignment which is: Using one of the characters profiled, write 3 different characterization studies focusing on; 1. narrative – only the character’s viewpoint should be used, 2. dialogue and 3. action. Use the same viewpoint character, setting and story for all three.
Feel free to join me. No snoozing allowed!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Friday
I'm working hard on all my reading assignments for my class. This lesson has lots more material than the first two. It's also a little more complicated. I'll update you more on Sunday............
But this is how it makes me feel!
But this is how it makes me feel!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Purpose of character building
The purpose of this lesson was to make me think about my characters as multi-dimensional people. It certainly accomplished that. A character isn’t a physical description or a bunch of emotions and traits that can apply to anyone. They have to be an individual that other people can relate to and care about.
The 250 word maximum forces me to focus on the big ticket items; what they want desperately, what they fear most and what makes them memorable. My profiles fell short in those areas. I know the answers to those 3 questions.
Anne desperately wants to connect emotionally with other people and stop pushing them away, fears being a failure and ending up alone therefore fulfilling her parent’s assessment of her, and has an uncanny ability to identify and solve problems. She has a quick wit and can find the humor in any situation.
Tim wants desperately to find someone to love who doesn’t want to change him, fears spending his retirement alone in front of the TV eating take out and being fixed up with every single woman in town and is a par golfer who always has his clubs with him and was the town hula hoop champion in his teens.
There’s a lot more to say about them and the reasons they are this way but if I have to boil it down to the big 3, there they are. I’m working on expanding the profiles and creating secondary character profiles. I’m also defining my settings and trying to keep Josephine Damian’s advice about the 3 act structure in mind.
What’s exciting is that as I do this the story is beginning to shape itself. Things flow naturally from certain characters and settings. I’m not ready to sit down and bang out the manuscript yet, but when the time comes I think it’ll be easier to do because I won’t be stumbling on minor decisions that might impede my progress.
I think of this as my story’s GPS system. Even if I get off course it will quickly bring me back.
The 250 word maximum forces me to focus on the big ticket items; what they want desperately, what they fear most and what makes them memorable. My profiles fell short in those areas. I know the answers to those 3 questions.
Anne desperately wants to connect emotionally with other people and stop pushing them away, fears being a failure and ending up alone therefore fulfilling her parent’s assessment of her, and has an uncanny ability to identify and solve problems. She has a quick wit and can find the humor in any situation.
Tim wants desperately to find someone to love who doesn’t want to change him, fears spending his retirement alone in front of the TV eating take out and being fixed up with every single woman in town and is a par golfer who always has his clubs with him and was the town hula hoop champion in his teens.
There’s a lot more to say about them and the reasons they are this way but if I have to boil it down to the big 3, there they are. I’m working on expanding the profiles and creating secondary character profiles. I’m also defining my settings and trying to keep Josephine Damian’s advice about the 3 act structure in mind.
What’s exciting is that as I do this the story is beginning to shape itself. Things flow naturally from certain characters and settings. I’m not ready to sit down and bang out the manuscript yet, but when the time comes I think it’ll be easier to do because I won’t be stumbling on minor decisions that might impede my progress.
I think of this as my story’s GPS system. Even if I get off course it will quickly bring me back.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
My characters
It was really hard to do complete profiles of characters in 250 words. Here's what I submitted.
Anne Powell is 52 years old, 5’8” tall and of average build. Her light brown hair is beginning to welcome some gray strands to the mix and she considers her forming wrinkles badges of honor for a life well lived. Her grey eyes often look blue or green depending on what color she wears but they are always expressive despite her otherwise poker face. She walks two miles daily weather permitting. She’s frugally stylish.
Anne never married although she came close 4 different times. Her commitment issues stem from her parents nasty divorce during her childhood. She was a shy child and is still somewhat reserved until you get to know her. Her wicked sense of humor and frustrated desire to be an actress make her fun to be around and she has many friends and acquaintances.
Anne is quietly intelligent and despite her master’s degree, a battle with cancer caused her to rethink her priorities and she is now the executive assistant to the president of a large real estate company owned by a private family. She takes no crap from anyone but, because of her background in psychology, she is the office mother.
She has owned a fixer home for 12 years and lives comfortably with her semi-spoiled dog Belle. She is aggressively saving for her retirement and is financially sound. She is active in a local social organization and never bored. Anne is a natural leader although a somewhat reluctant one and she values her privacy.
Tim Gardner is 55, 6’0 tall and has a few extra pounds. His once dark brown hair is now mostly grey and his blue eyes sparkle with mischief. Thanks to his sisters and daughter he dresses well but usually exercise is walking to the mailbox or changing TV without the remote.
He’s outgoing and charming but his two divorces have made him wary of relationships so he spends his free time with friends and family including his son, two daughters and three grandchildren who think he’s God. Occasionally he forgets his age and decreased fitness by participating in football and soccer games after which heating pads and ibuprofen are required.
Tim has been a detective with the local police for 30 years – his first job out of college. He is serious and meticulous in what he does and has a reputation as a tough person to fool. The town of 50,000 doesn’t provide much opportunity to test his skills, but he enjoys his work.
Tim lives in a condo purchased 10 years ago after his last divorce. A maid service cleans every two weeks and little is done in between except loading the dishwasher. He usually eats out and his three sisters take turns doing his laundry. He could do it himself, but the system is working for him and so he takes advantage of it. Tim is involved in a local social organization and occasionally feels bored and restless.
Here's what my instructor said:
The purpose of this assignment is to give you the opportunity to think about how it is that characters are created so as to engage readers in their adventures. Readers are not interested in bland characters, so you want to try to come up with both external and internal traits that will cause readers to find them fascinating.
You’ve used some vivid details to describe Anne Powell; light brown hair with a little gray, grey eyes, walks two miles per day, stylish. She has never married but is she dating anyone? I’m wondering about her background in psychology, why with that, she ended up president of a real estate company. I’m not finding much in this profile that is really grabbing me. I’m not sure if you saw the three things in Lecture Hall that I’d be looking for in your profiles because I’m not seeing them here. Readers connect with characters who want something—desperately. What is it that Anne wants? Another thing readers connect with is a character’s fears—what does Anne most fear? Go underneath Anne’s surface—what’s there? The quirks, the passions, the longings, the dreams. What will make Anne memorable to the reader? You want to create a character your reader won’t forget.
I feel the same way about Tim—that he needs something to take him over the top and make him interesting. It’s up to you as the writer to find the traits in each of your characters that will bring your reader in and make her care about what concerns your characters in their stories. When you think about Tim’s appearance, can you give him something noticeable? A birth mark, scar, tattoo that will cause the reader to recognize him? What was outrageous about either of his divorces? What’s different about Tim as a detective? And I want you to ponder the same three questions that I asked you about Anne; what does Tim want—desperately? What is Tim’s biggest fear—both external and internal? What will make Tim memorable? Why are we going to care about this character?
She's right about all this, but how do you do it in only 250 words? I'm a little frustrated right now.
Anne Powell is 52 years old, 5’8” tall and of average build. Her light brown hair is beginning to welcome some gray strands to the mix and she considers her forming wrinkles badges of honor for a life well lived. Her grey eyes often look blue or green depending on what color she wears but they are always expressive despite her otherwise poker face. She walks two miles daily weather permitting. She’s frugally stylish.
Anne never married although she came close 4 different times. Her commitment issues stem from her parents nasty divorce during her childhood. She was a shy child and is still somewhat reserved until you get to know her. Her wicked sense of humor and frustrated desire to be an actress make her fun to be around and she has many friends and acquaintances.
Anne is quietly intelligent and despite her master’s degree, a battle with cancer caused her to rethink her priorities and she is now the executive assistant to the president of a large real estate company owned by a private family. She takes no crap from anyone but, because of her background in psychology, she is the office mother.
She has owned a fixer home for 12 years and lives comfortably with her semi-spoiled dog Belle. She is aggressively saving for her retirement and is financially sound. She is active in a local social organization and never bored. Anne is a natural leader although a somewhat reluctant one and she values her privacy.
Tim Gardner is 55, 6’0 tall and has a few extra pounds. His once dark brown hair is now mostly grey and his blue eyes sparkle with mischief. Thanks to his sisters and daughter he dresses well but usually exercise is walking to the mailbox or changing TV without the remote.
He’s outgoing and charming but his two divorces have made him wary of relationships so he spends his free time with friends and family including his son, two daughters and three grandchildren who think he’s God. Occasionally he forgets his age and decreased fitness by participating in football and soccer games after which heating pads and ibuprofen are required.
Tim has been a detective with the local police for 30 years – his first job out of college. He is serious and meticulous in what he does and has a reputation as a tough person to fool. The town of 50,000 doesn’t provide much opportunity to test his skills, but he enjoys his work.
Tim lives in a condo purchased 10 years ago after his last divorce. A maid service cleans every two weeks and little is done in between except loading the dishwasher. He usually eats out and his three sisters take turns doing his laundry. He could do it himself, but the system is working for him and so he takes advantage of it. Tim is involved in a local social organization and occasionally feels bored and restless.
Here's what my instructor said:
The purpose of this assignment is to give you the opportunity to think about how it is that characters are created so as to engage readers in their adventures. Readers are not interested in bland characters, so you want to try to come up with both external and internal traits that will cause readers to find them fascinating.
You’ve used some vivid details to describe Anne Powell; light brown hair with a little gray, grey eyes, walks two miles per day, stylish. She has never married but is she dating anyone? I’m wondering about her background in psychology, why with that, she ended up president of a real estate company. I’m not finding much in this profile that is really grabbing me. I’m not sure if you saw the three things in Lecture Hall that I’d be looking for in your profiles because I’m not seeing them here. Readers connect with characters who want something—desperately. What is it that Anne wants? Another thing readers connect with is a character’s fears—what does Anne most fear? Go underneath Anne’s surface—what’s there? The quirks, the passions, the longings, the dreams. What will make Anne memorable to the reader? You want to create a character your reader won’t forget.
I feel the same way about Tim—that he needs something to take him over the top and make him interesting. It’s up to you as the writer to find the traits in each of your characters that will bring your reader in and make her care about what concerns your characters in their stories. When you think about Tim’s appearance, can you give him something noticeable? A birth mark, scar, tattoo that will cause the reader to recognize him? What was outrageous about either of his divorces? What’s different about Tim as a detective? And I want you to ponder the same three questions that I asked you about Anne; what does Tim want—desperately? What is Tim’s biggest fear—both external and internal? What will make Tim memorable? Why are we going to care about this character?
She's right about all this, but how do you do it in only 250 words? I'm a little frustrated right now.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Thoughts on building characters
Lesson 2 in my class is about building characters. After reading all my assignments twice, here are are some thoughts for you.
First, which comes first – the characters or the plot? Several readings suggested it’s easier to develop the characters first and let them lead you to the plot rather than trying to fit characters into an already developed plot.
So you start by describing your primary character. You begin with a physical description – height, weight, eye color, hair color, build, health, voice, scars, birthmarks, clothes, shoes, hairstyle, glasses/contact lenses, etc. Write it all out on a piece of paper to keep near you as you write so on page 220 you don’t talk about the scar on the left arm that started out on the right arm on page 60. (Believe it or not, there are geeks like me who will notice.)
Once you have a good physical description of your character it’s time to add another dimension. What do they do for a living? How much money do they make/have? What kind of car do they drive? What is their home like – own, rent, square feet, bedrooms, bathrooms, colors? What pets do they have?
Now you’re starting to make your character multi-dimensional and adding interest. Next you need to provide them with some personal characteristics. What are their goals? What motivates them? What’s their primary attitude and does it vary greatly? Do they have any strange or annoying habits or mannerisms? What irritates them? What sports do they like and hobbies do they have? Are they are reader? If so, what do they read – books, magazines, newspapers? Do they like movies? What kind? How about music? Are they emotional and is this consistent with the portrait you’ve drawn so far? Do they belong to any organizations? What are their political beliefs?
To finish off your description, you need to give them a background. Where were they born? Who were their parents and were they good parents? What was their situation like growing up? Do they have siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, children, spouse/lover, exes? What kind of education do they have and what is their job history?
Is this a lot or maybe even too much? You may not give all this information to your readers or you may offer it to them gradually, but if this is the primary character in your story, it’s important for you as a writer to know and understand them better than anyone. If you’re totally knowledgeable about them, writing their story will be easy for you.
Other things to consider; they should be consistent, strong enough to maintain interest and keep things moving, complex, not stereotypical, and sincere. If you do all these things, the plot will naturally flow from the characters. When you reach a plateau you can ask yourself, what would X do in this situation? What would they say? How would they feel?
Now decide what people surround your main character and develop profiles for them. The level of detail can vary based on their importance to the main character and to the story but again, the more you know about them, the easier they are to write.
If you have a great idea for a setting, you can start to develop your characters by first asking yourself who would live, work or play there and how will the setting affect them. How does the character interact with the setting? Once you determine those things you can begin to develop your profiles.
Our assignment this week was: Write "profiles" of two characters, preferably characters whose traits would provide conflict if they were placed in opposition to each other in a story. Be sure to include internal as well as external markers. (maximum 250 words each)
Armed with all the information gleaned from the reading assignments, I quickly discovered that 250 words are totally inadequate to create a truly complete profile. It took me 471 words above just to describe how to create the profile.
The profiles I created stayed within the limits, but if I use these characters in my book their profiles will be greatly expanded. After all the reading, I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface of these two people. I'll post them later and when my instructor comments that will be posted also.
Prior to taking this course and reading all this, I probably wouldn't have taken the time to really flesh out my characters.
A little learning can be a good thing.
What do you think?
First, which comes first – the characters or the plot? Several readings suggested it’s easier to develop the characters first and let them lead you to the plot rather than trying to fit characters into an already developed plot.
So you start by describing your primary character. You begin with a physical description – height, weight, eye color, hair color, build, health, voice, scars, birthmarks, clothes, shoes, hairstyle, glasses/contact lenses, etc. Write it all out on a piece of paper to keep near you as you write so on page 220 you don’t talk about the scar on the left arm that started out on the right arm on page 60. (Believe it or not, there are geeks like me who will notice.)
Once you have a good physical description of your character it’s time to add another dimension. What do they do for a living? How much money do they make/have? What kind of car do they drive? What is their home like – own, rent, square feet, bedrooms, bathrooms, colors? What pets do they have?
Now you’re starting to make your character multi-dimensional and adding interest. Next you need to provide them with some personal characteristics. What are their goals? What motivates them? What’s their primary attitude and does it vary greatly? Do they have any strange or annoying habits or mannerisms? What irritates them? What sports do they like and hobbies do they have? Are they are reader? If so, what do they read – books, magazines, newspapers? Do they like movies? What kind? How about music? Are they emotional and is this consistent with the portrait you’ve drawn so far? Do they belong to any organizations? What are their political beliefs?
To finish off your description, you need to give them a background. Where were they born? Who were their parents and were they good parents? What was their situation like growing up? Do they have siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, children, spouse/lover, exes? What kind of education do they have and what is their job history?
Is this a lot or maybe even too much? You may not give all this information to your readers or you may offer it to them gradually, but if this is the primary character in your story, it’s important for you as a writer to know and understand them better than anyone. If you’re totally knowledgeable about them, writing their story will be easy for you.
Other things to consider; they should be consistent, strong enough to maintain interest and keep things moving, complex, not stereotypical, and sincere. If you do all these things, the plot will naturally flow from the characters. When you reach a plateau you can ask yourself, what would X do in this situation? What would they say? How would they feel?
Now decide what people surround your main character and develop profiles for them. The level of detail can vary based on their importance to the main character and to the story but again, the more you know about them, the easier they are to write.
If you have a great idea for a setting, you can start to develop your characters by first asking yourself who would live, work or play there and how will the setting affect them. How does the character interact with the setting? Once you determine those things you can begin to develop your profiles.
Our assignment this week was: Write "profiles" of two characters, preferably characters whose traits would provide conflict if they were placed in opposition to each other in a story. Be sure to include internal as well as external markers. (maximum 250 words each)
Armed with all the information gleaned from the reading assignments, I quickly discovered that 250 words are totally inadequate to create a truly complete profile. It took me 471 words above just to describe how to create the profile.
The profiles I created stayed within the limits, but if I use these characters in my book their profiles will be greatly expanded. After all the reading, I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface of these two people. I'll post them later and when my instructor comments that will be posted also.
Prior to taking this course and reading all this, I probably wouldn't have taken the time to really flesh out my characters.
A little learning can be a good thing.
What do you think?
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Instructor's feedback on setting
Here's what my instructor said about my submission:
We’ll be studying many of the elements of fiction in this course, but in this one, we’re looking at setting, how you integrate the details into the setting, and how you reveal your character interacting with the setting.
We meet up with Anne as she moves up the wide stone steps and into the old brick building. You show us the fading sunset. You’re doing great integrating the details into the setting so far. We see the rich dark wood and the thick brocade curtains. Once she turns on the lights, she sees the tables decorated with the red plastic cloths and the colorful Styrofoam hearts and curly ribbon. There’s the crepe paper ribbons and balloons. Very vivid.
Even when the dialogue starts, you use setting details—the creaking overhead. You want to appeal to as many of the reader’s senses as you can. You’ve shown us many of the physical items in this setting, and we can hear the creaking. What about smells? Does this old building smell at all? What can we reach out and touch?
This is exactly what we’re after in this scene. You’ve dropped your reader right into the middle of the setting with your character so that she can experience what they’re experiencing.
Those of you who mentioned the smell and touch thing were spot on and my revisions will reflect this, but I feel pretty good about it even though I discovered there were about 20 more pages of homework reading I didn't do because I neglected to click on the little button at the top of the page that listed the supplemental reading. OOPS! I printed it out and intend to read it tonight before beginning the next section - Character Building. Hope that doesn't have anything to do with me personally. I think I'm enough of a character as is.
We’ll be studying many of the elements of fiction in this course, but in this one, we’re looking at setting, how you integrate the details into the setting, and how you reveal your character interacting with the setting.
We meet up with Anne as she moves up the wide stone steps and into the old brick building. You show us the fading sunset. You’re doing great integrating the details into the setting so far. We see the rich dark wood and the thick brocade curtains. Once she turns on the lights, she sees the tables decorated with the red plastic cloths and the colorful Styrofoam hearts and curly ribbon. There’s the crepe paper ribbons and balloons. Very vivid.
Even when the dialogue starts, you use setting details—the creaking overhead. You want to appeal to as many of the reader’s senses as you can. You’ve shown us many of the physical items in this setting, and we can hear the creaking. What about smells? Does this old building smell at all? What can we reach out and touch?
This is exactly what we’re after in this scene. You’ve dropped your reader right into the middle of the setting with your character so that she can experience what they’re experiencing.
Those of you who mentioned the smell and touch thing were spot on and my revisions will reflect this, but I feel pretty good about it even though I discovered there were about 20 more pages of homework reading I didn't do because I neglected to click on the little button at the top of the page that listed the supplemental reading. OOPS! I printed it out and intend to read it tonight before beginning the next section - Character Building. Hope that doesn't have anything to do with me personally. I think I'm enough of a character as is.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Lesson 1 – Setting
Our first lesson in my writing class is focused on setting. It deals with setting in relation to the general mood of the story, to the plot, and to the theme.
There is also an emphasis on description and how much is too much. They talk about the 2 most common mistakes: over-describing and clumping. Over-describing is basically using too many adjectives, characteristics or metaphors to describe something. It’s like saying when the large, corpulent, double-chinned, behemoth soprano warbles the melodic operatic aria instead of saying when the fat lady sings. Too many of the first type of description can slow down the story.
Clumping is giving the whole description at once – not leaving any information for later. It may not be over-describing but it can stop a story. It’s like taking 3 pages to describe an overstuffed leather sofa by describing where and how it was manufactured, shipped, sold and transported to the site – all in great detail instead of just saying there’s an overstuffed leather sofa in the room.
(Please note that I’m paraphrasing here. This is by no means a complete synopsis of the class. If you want that you need to pay the money and take it yourself.)
We had to read 2 ½ chapters in our book, the online lecture and then complete the assignment which is: write a scene where setting is predominant. There are 14 of us in the class and our work is posted for all of us to see and comment. It’s really interesting to read and now we all await our instructor’s comments on our work. Here is my submission:
“Damn,” she thought, “first one here again. I need to stop being so punctual.”
The wide stone steps, rounded by the thousands of feet scurrying up and down them for the last 150 years, led her into the beautiful old brick building. The fading sunset glowed against the windows casting mischievous shadows inside.
Anne shivered as she unlocked the door. Even after 40 years of attending events here, the darkened interior still gave her the creeps. She was familiar with every inch of the upper two stories and the basement but being alone made her uneasy. As she flipped on the lights, the old place warmed to her presence.
The center was one of the largest buildings in town. Once used exclusively for Masonic groups, due to rising costs it was now rented out to others for meetings and functions. It hadn’t lost its sense of purpose and the rich dark woods and thick brocade curtains created a sense of formality
She turned on the lights in the main floor dining hall and was pleased to see the tables already set with festive decorations for the pre-meeting meal. Red plastic cloths held white dishes and large pink, red and white Styrofoam hearts danced on a sea of curly ribbon in the middle of each table. Crepe paper ribbons and balloons adorned the walls and a sign saying “Happy VD” was taped over the podium. Anne laughed and made a mental note to have the sign changed before some of the older members arrived.
Overhead she heard a floorboard creak. Thinking it odd, she went to the bottom of the stairs and called, “Who’s there? Is someone up there?” There was no response but the big front door opened and Anne was relieved to see Helen and Jean enter.
“Which one of you is responsible for the sign?” she said.
Helen blushed and Jean looked innocently up at the ceiling. “Well whoever did it needs to change it before the rest of the group arrives.”
“You don’t like it?” Helen said.
“I love it, but something tells me a few of our members won’t appreciate your sense of humor.”
The floorboard creaked overhead again and all three women looked at the ceiling.
“Is someone here with you?” said Jean.
“No. I heard that same noise just before you came in, but no one answered when I called. Maybe we should go upstairs and check it out.”
“Not on your life,” said Jean. “The men will be here soon. They can go up there.”
“Don’t be such a sissy,” said Helen. “Let’s go see what’s going on. It’s probably just the old building making noises anyway.”
“Well, you two can go, but I’m staying here,” said Jean.
Anne and Helen started towards the wide old stairs covered with the worn burgundy runners. As they started to ascend, Helen sat down on the third step and said, “Maybe we should wait.”
So, what do you think? Can you visualize this setting? Did I over-describe or clump? Any feedback is welcome.
There is also an emphasis on description and how much is too much. They talk about the 2 most common mistakes: over-describing and clumping. Over-describing is basically using too many adjectives, characteristics or metaphors to describe something. It’s like saying when the large, corpulent, double-chinned, behemoth soprano warbles the melodic operatic aria instead of saying when the fat lady sings. Too many of the first type of description can slow down the story.
Clumping is giving the whole description at once – not leaving any information for later. It may not be over-describing but it can stop a story. It’s like taking 3 pages to describe an overstuffed leather sofa by describing where and how it was manufactured, shipped, sold and transported to the site – all in great detail instead of just saying there’s an overstuffed leather sofa in the room.
(Please note that I’m paraphrasing here. This is by no means a complete synopsis of the class. If you want that you need to pay the money and take it yourself.)
We had to read 2 ½ chapters in our book, the online lecture and then complete the assignment which is: write a scene where setting is predominant. There are 14 of us in the class and our work is posted for all of us to see and comment. It’s really interesting to read and now we all await our instructor’s comments on our work. Here is my submission:
“Damn,” she thought, “first one here again. I need to stop being so punctual.”
The wide stone steps, rounded by the thousands of feet scurrying up and down them for the last 150 years, led her into the beautiful old brick building. The fading sunset glowed against the windows casting mischievous shadows inside.
Anne shivered as she unlocked the door. Even after 40 years of attending events here, the darkened interior still gave her the creeps. She was familiar with every inch of the upper two stories and the basement but being alone made her uneasy. As she flipped on the lights, the old place warmed to her presence.
The center was one of the largest buildings in town. Once used exclusively for Masonic groups, due to rising costs it was now rented out to others for meetings and functions. It hadn’t lost its sense of purpose and the rich dark woods and thick brocade curtains created a sense of formality
She turned on the lights in the main floor dining hall and was pleased to see the tables already set with festive decorations for the pre-meeting meal. Red plastic cloths held white dishes and large pink, red and white Styrofoam hearts danced on a sea of curly ribbon in the middle of each table. Crepe paper ribbons and balloons adorned the walls and a sign saying “Happy VD” was taped over the podium. Anne laughed and made a mental note to have the sign changed before some of the older members arrived.
Overhead she heard a floorboard creak. Thinking it odd, she went to the bottom of the stairs and called, “Who’s there? Is someone up there?” There was no response but the big front door opened and Anne was relieved to see Helen and Jean enter.
“Which one of you is responsible for the sign?” she said.
Helen blushed and Jean looked innocently up at the ceiling. “Well whoever did it needs to change it before the rest of the group arrives.”
“You don’t like it?” Helen said.
“I love it, but something tells me a few of our members won’t appreciate your sense of humor.”
The floorboard creaked overhead again and all three women looked at the ceiling.
“Is someone here with you?” said Jean.
“No. I heard that same noise just before you came in, but no one answered when I called. Maybe we should go upstairs and check it out.”
“Not on your life,” said Jean. “The men will be here soon. They can go up there.”
“Don’t be such a sissy,” said Helen. “Let’s go see what’s going on. It’s probably just the old building making noises anyway.”
“Well, you two can go, but I’m staying here,” said Jean.
Anne and Helen started towards the wide old stairs covered with the worn burgundy runners. As they started to ascend, Helen sat down on the third step and said, “Maybe we should wait.”
So, what do you think? Can you visualize this setting? Did I over-describe or clump? Any feedback is welcome.
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