I would like to issue a public thank you to all the people in the airports and on the planes for being certain to spread their germs around by hacking, coughing, sneezing and then walking through the plane and putting their germy paws on the seats with no regard for any other passengers. I realize using soap and tissues or covering your mouth during your outbursts is very inconvenient and wanted to let you know how grateful I was to end up with bronchitis because of your generosity.
I would also like to thank Dallas for having the world's largest and most inconvenient airport. I would have taken that train thingy had I known it existed, but one of your very intelligent employees assured me that Gates D 12 and A 17 were easy walking distance. After walking through at least 3 states his lies became apparent. I realize my vacation was filled with overeating, but exercising under the stress of a short connection was not my plan.
I would also like to thank American Airlines for making sure my luggage did not accompany me on the trip from Dallas to Seattle. It was wonderful to arrive at the airport and watch everyone else take their luggage off the carousel then stand in line for 15 minutes with the rest of the bagless people only to be told my bag was still in Dallas. Well, DUH! I also really appreciated receiving it at 4:30 the next day at work just as I was getting ready to go home. I do apologize for yelling at and threatening to sue the delivery person who called me at 9 a.m. and informed me he didn't think he could make it the 5 miles from the airport to my office before 5 p.m.
Thank you all so much for waiting until the end of my trip to materialize.
As promised, here's the next round of buttons.