Ello, you especially should appreciate this.
I was exhausted by bedtime last night. My homework for the writing class was progressing nicely and I was tired from a long day, so sleep came quickly. Normally I get up a couple of times a night to go to the bathroom – it’s an old person thing, something you can all look forward to. Last night my bladder held firm, however…..
About 2:30 this morning I awoke to the vilest, most vitriolic odor imaginable. It was so overwhelmingly disgusting I thought the enemy was using chemical warfare on me. In my dazed and confused state, I stumbled out of bed and headed for the stairs. As I got farther away from my bedroom, the odor abated noticeably. It didn’t go away, it just wasn’t stinging my lungs and making my eyes and nose water anymore.
Stupidly, I ventured back towards the bedroom only to be accosted by the foul stench again. It suddenly dawned on me that the source of this malodorous assault was staring at me from atop my covers with her tail wagging. Belle!
I have mentioned her room clearing farting ability in the past, but this one was like the nuclear bomb of all flatulence. I raced for the can of room deodorizer and sprayed it liberally throughout the house because the whole place reeked by then. I also opened some windows even though it was freezing outside.
In my partially awake state, I finally realized the stench was still there, sprayed another layer of deodorizer throughout the place and stuck my head out my sliding glass door gulping in the fresh, icy air.
A full fifteen minutes after my rude awakening, with the perpetrator constantly at my side as if we were on a big adventure, the house no longer smelled like sulfuric acid, methane and feces. Belle went outside and left a stink bomb on the lawn to scare away all the creatures of the night and I promptly gave her ½ a pepto-bismal tablet to tame whatever was happening inside her little gut.
It took another hour to return to sleep – partially because of all the cold air I inhaled and partially for fear of another surprise attack. Since she likes to sleep with her butt next to my face, this is a valid concern. Meanwhile, she slept soundly.
It’s a good thing I love my dog.