THE MONTH AFTER CHRISTMAS
author unknown
Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I would taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store it was less a walk than a lumber.
I remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare.
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "None for me, please."
As I dressed myself in my biggest old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as only I can,
"You can't spend another winter disguised as a man!"
So -- away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie -- not even a lick.
I'll chew only on long celery sticks.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, life's no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all
and to all a good diet.
Just setting the mood for the next round of buttons!
The rest tomorrow!
9 comments:
Ha! Ok the poem is so me right now! I am truly a pig.
And the take a number button had me howling! I want it!
Ello,
I can find a use for all of these buttons. What an unfortunate fact that is.
Those are great--both the poem (which is startlingly accurate) and the mood buttons. I especially like the first one, but they all have their uses.
Anti-Wife,
I loooove the poem, I may tack it up on my corkboard in place of all the holiday cards...
I have a tee shirt with that cute little bunny on it, except mine reads, "I'm not mean, you're just a sissy"
Hi again,
Just wanted to let you know your ode's up
Hope you like it.
AW, LMAO, especially over the zucchini and troll buttons! Thanks for sharing these. I am copying and pasting these buttons for future use.
That is too funny! Where'd you find it? I really like it! :*)
I love the poem! C'est moi! And I was doing so well before Christmas struck!
Now off to steal your buttons...
The number one was my favorite too!
I would have laughed more at the poem if I hadn't just tried on a skirt that I've long assumed was too big for me. Now I know that it isn't too big -- not by a long shot -- and I feel like kicking down a fence.
But then that IS what January is for...
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