Give George a Break!

Part of my book includes a section on men. It’s basically about how little I know about them, but I’ve managed to come up with a few theories. One of my theories includes categorizing men into certain types.

I thought it might be fun to find some famous people whose lifestyles were representative of these types. I don’t go to movies and I don’t normally read the tabloids or watch the entertainment shows on TV. So my knowledge was extremely limited and since most of my childhood heartthrobs, like Paul Newman and Robert Redford, are getting a little long in the tooth now, I thought I needed some more current examples.

While sitting in a doctor’s waiting room a few months ago, I picked up a magazine that had George Clooney on the cover. I read the article and thought maybe I could use George as one of my examples. He seemed to fit very nicely into one of my categories. However, being the researcher that I am, I figured I need to get some more information about him. So, I Googled him!

Holy crap! So what hole have I been living in? Is this guy ever popular! He actually has several websites totally devoted to all things George Clooney. I had no idea that there were such rabid fans out there for George. They dedicate untold hours to tracking every move he makes. Now this really captured my interest and I was feeling even more confident that he was going to be perfect.

One of the reasons I haven’t read the tabloids or watched the constant celebrity news channels is because I always felt they were so intrusive and rude. I was right! These people are ruthless in their pursuit of all things private and embarrassing. I started reading a few articles and going onto some message boards devoted to George to get a feel for him and at first it looked like I had my man.

First of all, who hasn’t done him – well besides me that is? At least that’s how it seems from what you read. The list is freaking endless. It reminded me of myself in the late 60’s and 70’s – okay, the early 80’s too. But I’m not that slut anymore and I never named names!

Not only has everyone done him, but they all talk about it. What’s up with that? What kind of low life assholes brag about their sexual conquests when they know it’s going to show up in the tabloids or on TV? It’s one thing to tell your best friend, but complete strangers! It’s incomprehensible to me.

He deserves to be able to have sex with whomever he wants without it being public knowledge. After all, if he weren’t such a public person, no one would care who he bonks. I would never brag about having had sex with someone – even if he was really famous. How crass! Of course, this is all just my opinion. George probably doesn’t give a rat’s ass.

However, I personally would be hurt if someone I had sex with bragged about it as if I was some kind of prize at the carnival. The way some of them talk about him it sounds like he’s some kind of merit badge – you know, like you get to put on your sash in girl scouts. “Look, I got my George Clooney Bonking badge. What, you didn’t? Man you must be a real dog. Everybody has a Clooney badge.”

Okay, so if I sound irritated, I am because in all this research I’ve been doing I’ve discovered that George is really a pretty good person. He’s intelligent, articulate, and works hard. He brings attention to issues that need awareness, like the genocide in Darfur. He helped raise money for Katrina victims and he stands up for what he believes in – like the senselessness of the Iraq war - even when the issues aren’t popular. Also, he’s a liberal Democrat like me, so he must be okay.

I don’t know what he’s really like. Only he and his truly best friends can answer that question. But he’s not a merit badge. He doesn’t lick his eyebrows in public or talk about all the women he’s bonked. He deserves to be treated with more dignity and respect than he gets. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t use him. That would just put me on the same low level as all his chatty conquests.

Will I stop lurking on those sites – I don’t know. He’s kind of cute and his life is far more interesting than mine. In doing my research, I’ve grown rather fond of old George and considering his complete lack of privacy I do feel kind of sorry for him. I’m older than him, (no, not old enough to be his mother) so there’s no danger of me becoming enamored of him. I’m very realistic, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t imagine him forsaking all his women in their 20’s and 30’s for me.

When my book is finished and my research is done, I’ll probably eventually lose interest and move on to something else. In the meantime, I’ll support him because of his good works and I won’t exploit him.