I used to be very secretive about everything because I thought it made me seem more enigmatic. It was part of my attempt at being interesting enough for others to want to be around me and get to know me. Now I don’t really give a shit. If people want to be around me, fine. If not, that’s fine too because I don’t mind being alone.
Some people flaunt their knowledge of secrets and use them like leverage, to try and make themselves more important than they really are. It’s kind of like kids who do the, “I know something you don’t know” bit to make others feel inferior. We have a couple of people like that in our office – one in particular. I really have no use for them.
In my job, I’m privy to some big secrets and I realize the importance of keeping them – even from people I know I can trust. This is business. It’s not personal. Today we revealed a big secret here at work – something I’ve known about since last October. I’m glad it’s out in the open now because the pressure has been intense, but some of the consequences of this secret are going to be difficult to handle because they involve not just assets but people.
I’m also extremely good at keeping personal secrets. I’ve kept some secrets locked inside me all my life and doubt that they will ever come out. Friends who tell me things and ask me not to tell anyone else can be assured that the knowledge will be locked deep inside me and never revealed.
But, I don’t like secrets even though I realize the necessity of having and keeping them. I’d rather just be open and honest. Unfortunately life is just too complicated for that. Sometimes life just sucks.