Thursday, July 19, 2007

Commitment phobia and last minute-itis

That’s what I call it anyway – last minute-itis. I blame this on my commitment phobia because there’s something in me that hates to commit to anything until the last minute.

For example:
Signing up for conferences or vacations – I always do this right before the deadline. I may argue with myself for weeks about the reasons to go or not to go, then right before the deadline I’ll decide. What’s interesting is most of the time I don’t go. It’s like men, I can always think of a million reasons why I shouldn’t so I don’t even give myself the opportunity to see if I would like it. What’s crazy is when I do go I almost always have a great time.

Another example:
Committing to do a project or participate on a committee or attend some minor function. Everything is always a maybe – even things I really should do. Do or not do, go or not go – always a last minute decision.

Even things for work or assignments I actually do agree to do are usually done at the last minute. Fortunately I’m very resourceful and really quick at most things. Plus I’m too afraid of rejection (a true commitment phobic issue) to not get something done. If I actually say I’m going to do something, you can absolutely count on it getting done before the deadline.

This all drives me nuts! However, I have developed systems to deal with my last minute-itis so it doesn’t get me into trouble. I have lists – lots of lists - and I update them frequently. This keeps everything right in front of me so I don’t let things pile up and overwhelm me. They force me to do what needs to be done in a timely manner.

I keep my closet very organized and have a system for rotating through my clothes so I don’t have to make too many decisions about what to wear in the morning. If I didn’t, it would take me forever to get dressed. It keeps my choices simpler and takes the last minute-itis out of wardrobe decisions. Being organized helps make decisions simpler and it makes committing less terrifying.

Here’s another crazy thing – I have a hard time saying no when people need help on committees or with projects. AND everyone asks me because they know I always get things done and on time. Can you say dichotomy?

It seems so stupid when I write about it, but not when I’m going through it.

No comments: