Thursday, May 3, 2007

Going to the Dogs!

The things I do for my dogs! As you can see from their picture, I have the cutest dogs in the world. They rule my house. I just pay the bills and run all their errands for them. Because of my cancer, I wasn’t able to have children – which is a good thing because I probably would have killed them and been incarcerated by now. Anyway, dogs are far more suited to my personality and temperament.

My older girl Rosie, the cute little tan Lhasa Apso, is nearing 14 and her health is slowly going down hill. She showed the first sign of aging when she refused to go for any more walks with Belle and me. She sat at the top of the stairs, splayed out like a Sphinx with her front paws crossed, and stared off into space as I called her. I could almost hear her saying “Is someone here? Did someone say something?”, as I yelled at her to get her ass down the stairs.

I tried carting her around in a basket at first so she could get some fresh air, but she hated it and started hiding from me under her favorite red chair every time I went near the front door. So, I gave up.

Next she started walking like an old lady. She’s always had bow legs because of a minor birth defect in her right wrist, but the limp was becoming very pronounced. The vet recommended a glucosamine treat. She now gets them twice a day and seems to be walking a little better. KaChing!

Then she acted up at the groomers. I tend to think the groomers were partially at fault because Rosie is a very sweet girl – even to kids. However, the girls at the vet’s office recommended a new groomer who was good with “older” dogs. Now she and Belle go there every 3 weeks for pampering. She likes them and walks in happily. KaChing!

Of course, she also has chronic dry eye for which the vet has given her medicated eye drops – twice a day. KaChing! And, gooey ears for which the vet has given her ear drops as necessary. KaChing!

But wait. There’s more! She developed a skin condition that turned her belly almost black. The vet (who recently bought a new Lexus – Hmmm) diagnosed her with a thyroid condition. Now she takes pills – embedded in her glucosamine treats – twice a day. KaChing!

The worst thing is the little incontinence problem she has developed. My dogs have a doggie door that leads to my deck. Rosie has no problem going out on to the deck, but she refuses to go down the flight of stairs to the yard, so she poops and pees on the deck. I can handle that. I keep a box of tissues handy to pick up the poop and flush it down the toilet, and a spray bottle of Simple Green to wash off the urine.

However, she refuses to go outside when it rains. So, she found a particular spot in the dining room in front of the sliding glass door to the deck where she goes so she won’t get wet. I’ve tried everything to persuade her to not do this. However, she is very stubborn.

So two rugs later, I moved the dining room table into one side of the living room (thank God it’s a big room), put down a waterproof tarp, and covered it with newspapers. She is content to go there and never misses. My job is to make sure the papers are fresh every day and to pick up the poop as provided. I always know when it’s been provided because of the lovely odor that wafts through the house. Did I mention how many cans of room deodorizer I go through because of this and Belle’s penchant for farting? KaChing!

Needless to say, I don’t have much company anymore unless they are extremely understanding and total dog lovers.

It’s a good thing I really love my dogs. My life would be simpler and my bank account fatter without them, but there’s no substitute for the unconditional love they give me.

I have gone to the dogs!

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