Forgive: To stop being angry about or resenting somebody or somebody’s behavior. To excuse somebody for a mistake, misunderstanding, wrongdoing, or an inappropriateness.
Someone asked me recently why I waited until now to write my memoirs. The answer was simple. I had to wait until I had forgiven myself and everyone who contributed to my crappy ex-life before I could write about it.
I’ve always been a fairly objective person – able to see most sides of an issue. I probably would have made a good judge. That doesn’t mean I don’t take sides. But I’ve learned there is usually more than one point of view on things and that point of view is influenced by your environment, experiences and time.
Being able to forgive meant I needed to release the anger. To do that I had to be able to see the other people in my life not as ogres who hurt and neglected me, but as people who had problems and issues of their own. I had to find my objectivity in relation to them.
And I had to accept responsibility for my part in everything – especially after I left home. I had the intellectual capacity to stop it all that day, but I didn’t.
This woman http://matociquala.livejournal.com/1120951.html inspires me. I didn’t suffer the physical abuse, but I so relate to what she says on the emotional and intellectual level. There are so many voices out there in the wilderness. Hers is worth listening to. I hope mine will be too.